All in due time.

It's still dark outside and with my sneakers in my hand I prepare for the gym.  But it's sadhana that calls me.
I leave the sneakers outside the door of the Zen Den and trade the treadmill for the meditation cushion. Time passes in an instant.  It's time to start the day.  I want to sit longer  but responsibilities await me.  Service is sadhana.

All day I sit at the my desk.  I do the work that needs to be done but every ounce of my being is longing for sadhana.  Service is sadhana when we offer the fruit of our work to God.  Finally, the work day is over but responsibilities are still plenty.  The meditation cushion must wait.

While grumbling to myself at the grocery store on the way home I remember:  Service is sadhana.  See God in everyone and offer all that you do in service to God.  Ok, I understand....I finish my shopping and head home to prepare dinner.  With this reminder fresh in my mind I prepare dinner with the intention of sadhana.  I am feeding my family as if I'm feeding God.  Seeing God in everyone.

We must fulfill our responsibilities even if it means formal practice of sadhana must wait.  If we were to abandon our responsibilities to our jobs and families in the name of sadhana we would be missing God's message to love and serve.

(Okay, I admit it.... I did abandon the dishes after dinner.) 

Everyone is preparing for bed, finally the pull of the Zen Den is too strong to ignore any longer.  With the chants to Shiva playing and room in a soft glow of the candle light I roll out my mat.  Immediately I feel my breath deepen and the stress of the day melt away.  As my body moves in rhythm to the music and my own breath I feel alive.  This is heaven right here in my own home. 

As I slowly make my way to the meditation cushion in front of the alter I close my eyes.  Still it's the Shiva mantras playing in my mind so I go with it....

OM. Tryambakam yajamahe

Sugandhim pushti-vardhanam

Urvarukamiva bandhanan

Mrityor mukshiya mamritat

Tanslation:  OM. We worship and adore you, O three-eyed one, O Shiva. You are sweet gladness, the fragrance of life, who nourishes us, restores our health, and causes us to thrive. As, in due time, the stem of the cucumber weakens, and the gourd is freed from the vine, so free us from attachment and death, and do not withhold immortality.


"As, in due time, the stem of the cucumber weakens, and the gourd is freed from the vine"  This sentence seemed to apply to the entire day yesterday.  In due time.....formal sadhana was possible.  Until then I needed to remember to make everything I do an offering to God which makes everything sadhana. 

What I wish I knew when I was 22.

The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to control your destiny. That's right, YOU have the power.  Not just some of you....ALL OF YOU!! Including me.  We have the power to control our destiny by choosing our thoughts.   It's really that simple

For years and years I wasted so much energy on worrying and being fearful.  That worry and fear was paralyzing and exhausting.  Hindsight is 20/20 they say.  I can see clearly now that 99.9% of the things I worried about never actually happened.  Not to say that bad things haven't happened but never the thing that I worried about.  And guess what?  When bad things did happen, I survived and grew from it.  The seed must break open for the flower to grow. 

Sometimes just remembering that you have the power to choose your thought is enough.  Other times, we need some help.  Sometimes the obsessive thought is so ingrained and has such a strong hold on our minds that we need something equally powerful to counter it.  That's when we use mantra.  Mantra is so powerful that it can override any other thoughts and/or fears.  But don't take my word for it, try it yourself.

Let's face it, you're going to obsess anyway so why not give your mind something useful to obsess about.  Choose a mantra, prayer or inspirational passage.  Memorize it and whenever your mind is hijacked by worry or fear choose to think the mantra instead.  Then sit back and watch how your life changes.

REMEMBER:  YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE ONE THOUGHT OVER ANOTHER.  WHY NOT CHOOSE THE POSITIVE THOUGHT??

(shameless self-promotion:  if you are interested in learning mantra meditation email me or message me with your contact info.)

I surrender............

As I sit in front of my alter I pray "Divine Mother, make me an instrument of your peace.  I offer my life in service to you.  Let my words be your words, my hands be your hands.  Use my life in whatever way you see fit.  Not my will but your will be done".   As I sit in the stillness in the early morning I wholeheartedly, sincerely mean the words I pray.

But it isn't long before the challenges begin.  Suddenly the old anger and resentments  rise up. At a closer look I realize it's an opportunity to practice forgiveness.    Some days its earier than other days.  As I move through the day I may find myself losing my patience with someone.  I get frustrated until I shift my perspective and see it as an opportunity to practice patience.  Some days its earier than others.  At times my inner child is throwing the mother of all temper tantrums when things don't go my way or I'm not getting the attention I want.  It's at those times that it's most important that I remember to be still and go within so that I can hear the whispers of the Divine reminding me to surrender my self will.

Setting aside my self will to make room for the will of the Divine is the practice of surrender.  Some days are easier than others.  Some days my self will is like a two year old in the middle of a full blown temper tantrum complete with kicking and screaming and maybe even holding my breath. 

At times I think to myself that doing the work of the Divine Mother should be more glamorous.  When I offer my life in service shouldn't that mean doing great works of charity?  Shouldn't I go to some exotic foreign country and feed the poor or something??? Doesn't that mean I should organize some huge fund raiser to help cure cancer or something?  You guessed it, that's my ego talking.   Some people's dharma is to do these great works of charity.   My dharma is to live by the light of Ma's grace in ordinary, every day situations. 

Every ordinary interaction with others becomes an opportunity to serve.  Yes, it's commendable to do great works of charity.  But equally important are the little things you do in your day to day life.  Holding the door for someone else.   Helping someone who's struggling with their groceries.  Offering a word of encouragement to someone who struggling.  If you make a donation or do some work of charity doing it anonymously.  Make dinner for someone for no reason.  Forgive someone who hurt you deeply.  Have compassion for those who hurt you because clearly they are dealing with their own inner demons. 

Every ordinary interaction with your loved ones or strangers alike is an opportunity to practice forgiveness, patience, love, and surrender.   When we choose to do what's best for others even when it means that it's not what our ego or self will would like.... That's the practice of surrender.  

When we surrender our individual, self will for the greater  good.....that's surrender.  It's easy to talk about surrender while sitting on the meditation cushion but the real practice happens in the ordinary, every day moments.  When I look at the challenges and struggles in my life through the light of spiritual practice I can see the Divine will at work. I am finding it easier to surrender when I remember my morning prayer:

 "Divine Mother, make me an instrument of your peace.  I offer my life in service to you.  Let my words be your words, my hands be your hands.  Use my life in whatever way you see fit.  Not my will but your will be done"

By the light of the moon.....

"Mom! Where's my shoes?!"  "They're in the closet" the mother replies.
"I looked....they aren't there!  I need them now. I'm late!!" The desperate child calls out. "I put them in the closet myself.  Look again".  The mom calmly replies.  "Oh yeah!  I found them".

The mom goes back to her meditation....  By the light of the moon the mom seeks the answers to life's questions....."Ma! where are the answers?" The desperate child calls out.  "They're right there, in the lotus of your heart"  Ma calmly replies.  "I don't see them.... I need them right now!"  The Divine mother whispers...."I put them there myself... look again". 

Oh... Yeah....there they are....in the lotus of my heart, right where Ma told me I'd find them.

I sometimes forget that it's really that simple.  I get so lost in the details that I forget to simply turn on the light so I can see that what I'm looking for is right there in front of me.  How I turn on the light is by committing to a daily spiritual practice.  It's in the practice of training my mind to be one pointed that I can get beyond the clutter that prevents me from hearing Ma's whispers guiding me. 
 

Jai Ma!

Shadows

Here's the view from my meditation cushion.  Look closely, do you see any sunlight?  No.  Me neither.
Not until I'm deep in meditation that is.  The most interesting things happen during and after meditation.   [Forgive me if I'm breaking some meditation rule about not sharing the details]

My meditation space is in my basement and although there are 2 small windows it's still the basement.
The point is that the sun cannot shine directly into the space.  So explain to me how/why while deep in meditation I experience the sensation that I am looking directly into the shinning sun on a beautiful summer day?  You know when you're on the beach and you close your eyes and turn your face towards the sun?
You can feel the warmth of the sun and feel the brightness even with your eyes closed.   Then suddenly a bird flies by and for a second there's a shadow in the brightness. 

Not only have I been experiencing the intense brightness but also the shadows.  When it first happened I quickly opened my eyes expecting to see something there that made the shadow.   Look at the photo again...  it's just a wall.  Nothing there to make a shadow.  Not to mention nothing there to make the brightness of the sun in my little space. 

Over and over I have this experience. Over and over I wonder what makes the shadows across the brightness? 

This morning the answer came to me..... it's my self-doubt.  It's my fears and negative thought patterns.  The brightness of the sun is always there in our consciousness.  We are beings of light.  We connect to our inner light in deep meditation. When we connect our individual inner light to the infinite light of Divine Grace it is like the brilliance of a thousands suns.  But the shadows still remain.  There's still work to be done.  The moments of pure light are fleeting.   The shadows have much to teach us.  In the shadow is where the work of self-realization happens.

We can't run away from the shadows.  We need to explore and learn the lessons offered by the them. 

Close your eyes. Turn your face to the sun and feel the brilliance of Divine Grace.  It's always there. But we need to be still to notice.  When the shadows come, welcome them and pay attention to what they are teaching.

The law of attraction

You know that scene in the scary movies where the lady in the high heels is running away from the scary whatever she's afraid of?  She's so worried about running away that she doesn't pay attention to where she's running to.   Ultimately ending up at a dead end only to have no choice but to face her fears.  

"Move with the flow of attraction rather than from repulsion" ~Kaypacha

Imagine how different the scene would be if we were moving with the flow of attraction rather than running away from fear?   I should clarify here.  I'm not talking about letting our senses control what we do.  The senses after all, are subject to likes and dislikes, pleasure and pain.  I'm talking about what our soul, our essence is attracted to.  What is your soul attracted to?  Spiritual evolution, devotion, unconditional love, union with the Divine.  These are the qualities that our true nature is ultimately attracted to.  

Imagine how different the scene would be if instead of running away from our fears we shifted our focus and put our energy into those things that bring us closer to the true goal of life which is communion with God.

With our focus always on God perhaps we wouldn't have so many fears chasing us down the dark alleys of our minds.

I invite you to focus more on moving forward towards those things and people who fulfill, and inspire you and  less on what you fear and what holds you back.  

 "Move with the flow of attraction rather than from repulsion"

Those of you who know me know that I am a total control freak.  So imagine my delight when I learned in my Ayurveda studies that I do have some control.  I have control over the state of my mind which will translate into control over my physical well being!!  How do you like that?  The mind creates the body.  A healthy, happy mind will create a healthy, happy body.

It's true, we can't control other people. We can't control our external circumstances.  We CAN, however, control our thoughts.  We can control in which direction we chose to move.  Are we moving forward, attracted to higher thoughts and emotions like joy, freedom, love, devotion? or Are we simply running away from our fears with no clear path ahead of us? 

Back to lady in the scary movie...Don't you just want to yell...."HEY LADY, TAKE OFF THE HEELS YOU'LL HAVE A BETTER CHANCE!!"  Ultimately, we will all need to face our fears. One way or another.  There's no use trying running away from them.  The quicker you face your fears the quicker you can move on.  Facing your fears is sort of like taking of your high heels..... sort of....at least you'll have a better chance.

"Move with the flow of attraction rather than from repulsion"

message of Manipura

Manipura - Gateway of the Sun

Manipura means shinning Gem (City of Jewels)

It’s color is Yellow/Orange

Symbolized by lotus flower with 10 petals

Element: Fire

Sense of taste

Bija mantra: Ram 

The fire that ignites the light of consciousness rising up from the lower, more earthly chakras

Located: between the navel and the solar plexus, at the base of the sternum

It is the power center. It’s purpose is transformation. It’s the place where we digest and transform things in life. It’s task is to over come inertia, to move.

When balanced the person feels at ease, flowing, flexible, empowered and confident.

When unbalanced, it creates a feeling of frustration, arrogance, lack of confidence, shame, and jealousy, aggressive, judgmental

 

(google image)

What Manipura taught me today was that we have unbounded power within us.  The real power is our ability to choose one thought over another. 

We may not have power over external situations and circumstances but we do have the power to choose how those external situations will effect us.  Surrendering and letting go does not mean that you are powerless or that you are giving your power away.   There is tremendous power in surrendering and letting go of those patterns and habits that no longer serve us.  When we let go of old patterns and beliefs that are controlling and binding us we are actually taking back our power. 

When we feel like our own power is weak all we have to do is plug into the source of unbounded power through the practice of meditation.

Your real power is your ability to choose one thought or the another.  You can choose the refined qualities of manipura such as  empowerment, confidence, flexibility, feeling at ease or you can choose the not so refined qualities of frustration, aggression, judgement.   The chose is yours..... Choose wisely.  The power is yours.