Showing posts from December, 2015

Is it worth it?

Had I known the depths that my yoga practice would take me I doubt I would have had the courage to step foot on the mat.  Truth be told, I started taking yoga classes as a way of relieving stress.  I was in search of love and light and cotton candy.  I was bound and determined to be peaceful and happy even if it kills me.  Some days, it seems that my practice is doing just that... killing me.  In reality, it is killing "Me".

In yoga-land they use the analogy of peeling away the layers of an onion to describe the peeling away of the masks and stories that we have created around this idea of what or who "Me" is.   When I peel an onion it makes me cry.  The same is true with the peeling away of the layers of "Me". There are inevitably tears and pain involved when we start to peel away the masks.  We feel raw and vulnerable.  There's also fear.  Fear of what's underneath the  mask and stories of our lives?  How will people react to me without the mas…

Forfeiting the race

Why is there always a sense of urgency about things?  Why does it seem like time is running out? Always hurrying from one thing to the next.  Time spent on anything but busyness is wasteful.  "I wish I had more time!"  people are always saying.  I read a quote somewhere that said something like "Einstein and Michaelangelo had the same 24 hours you do."   Some nights I hit my pillow so completely exhausted yet having accomplished nothing in particular.

The sense of urgency and needing to keep up causes so much unnecessary suffering.   Life is moving so fast... Is it?  Is time moving faster than it used to?  Doesn't 24 hours still last  24 hours like they did 100 years ago?  Time isn't what's moving so fast, we are.   The question is, why? 
A yoga teacher once said that whatever neurosis you have off the mat you bring to the mat with you. The same sense of urgency and busyness and needing to accomplish and keep up with others is just as prevalent in yoga-…

Let the adventure begin...

What does releasing self-doubt look like? How will I know if it's self-doubt or a sign that I'm moving in the wrong direction?  What if it's not intuition or Divine guidance but really just delusion?  It seems to me that both delusion and following Divine guidance might look like chaos and craziness. 

Maybe a better question would be what does releasing self-doubt feel like? At this point it feels scary and confusing.  It feels scary when I forget that nothing is written in stone and nothing is permanent. I can change my mind and change my direction at any moment.

The option to change direction allows me to open up to the possibility that releasing self-doubt may feel liberating and exciting.  What if I'm right about something?  There's just as much possibility of being right as there is of being wrong.  What if I discover that my intuition was right?  How would that feel?   What would change?  Would that make releasing self-doubt easier?  What if I'm wrong? W…