tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72900204217155060302024-03-14T05:49:36.371-04:00Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker A blog about my adventures in yoga-land. Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.comBlogger313125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-88036217221330738142023-05-08T21:44:00.000-04:002023-05-08T21:44:00.596-04:00What would you say to your 19-year-old self?<p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAYi0QAL6GVx3KQwdFXDtFeq0KJaiSbt-PgFxE12BPkKBy5wSFBnHLvkhxJzTIIAw-PmqGj2U1ERirept3HiMsbh8p1ekXcSy23hhXcI2WYpOmxFV0kRI-1Wo1QxvXM4FnffPdVEy8-gMjn8X0f0plrnCmBd1hwgHglY9fKNXj1ytpP823jOtkr_wd/s4032/IMG_3829.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAYi0QAL6GVx3KQwdFXDtFeq0KJaiSbt-PgFxE12BPkKBy5wSFBnHLvkhxJzTIIAw-PmqGj2U1ERirept3HiMsbh8p1ekXcSy23hhXcI2WYpOmxFV0kRI-1Wo1QxvXM4FnffPdVEy8-gMjn8X0f0plrnCmBd1hwgHglY9fKNXj1ytpP823jOtkr_wd/w182-h243/IMG_3829.HEIC" width="182" /></a></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I was 19 years old I didn't know a damn thing about life. I certainly didn't know a damn thing about myself (I just didn't know that at the time). Today, at an age much older than 19 I sat down with this stack of journals and read the thoughts of my 19-year-old self. </span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-dbe5ea26-7fff-4fba-04a6-3c39e02ccec4"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This particular stack of journals I started when my first child was born. I had intended to write to my children in them and present them to my kids when they had their own children. That's your first clue of how little I actually knew about life; to think that I would have the time and energy for such things. I did manage to keep writing for about five years. This is impressive when you consider I was working full time and was essentially the sole caregiver for my babies. But I digress....</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was fun to read how excited I was at each milestone, first smile from baby, first tooth, first step. It was hard to read how scared and sad I was so much of the time. I wasted so much energy worrying. Truth be told I still struggle with worry sometimes. Some entries were so boring...." today we went for a walk and picked dandelions. Others were about important events both in the world and in our family. Page after page there's an undertone of both hopefulness and sadness. I thought about burning these books so many times. I had abandoned the idea of giving them to my kids long ago. After all, these are my stories and my insecurities that will do them no good.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In one of the early entries, I wrote that I hoped my kids would one day read the journals and get to know me. In those days, I wasn't comfortable opening up about how I felt or what I thought. Honestly, even in the journals I was making excuses for other people's bad behavior and never fully expressing how I really felt. I suppose I felt like I had to censor some things since my intention was to one day give the journals to the kids. There was a twinge of sadness at the thought that my kids would need to read my journals in order to get to know the real me. I've since learned that kids are much more perceptive than we give them credit for. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The decision to read them before I burned them was a good one. It's spring, which always has an air of hopefulness. The windows are open and the gentle breeze carries in the sweet smell of the Lilac while I read. A few things stood out to me. A big one is that although I have changed tremendously since I wrote those words some parts of me have stayed the same. My heart's desire has always been to create a life where my children grow up knowing that they are loved. I wrote often about hoping to create a peaceful, simple life. I do believe I've succeeded in both. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Life has taken so many unexpected turns. Some joyful and some sorrowful but each designed to bring me to this moment. I admit that the road to get here was not the road I intended to travel but nevertheless, I have arrived at the life that my 19-year-old self hoped for. Sitting here, listening to the birds chirping while my children share their own experiences and insecurities with me as they navigate their way through the early years of motherhood, I feel a great sense of contentment. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I've learned so much about myself over the years and if I could go back and talk to that 19-year-old girl I would tell her that the road ahead is bumpy and sometimes scary but that she is stronger and braver than she knows. I would tell her that as long as she follows her heart every step of the way life will be more beautiful than she ever hoped for. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-top: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What would you tell your 19-year-old self? </span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div></span>Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-41793142436452234662022-07-10T10:57:00.000-04:002022-07-10T10:57:03.344-04:00It dawned on me this morning. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim8X4PgroVsw5U6RoelHvuT586StUOQLhxao5AKguQthwFqS3R-sW3SMf4osUPwshsvV5Ts2bxHhgqnkMyVG23Wg4fQTWsCnqovWFMf0DPWywwiGq3QvK-btfCHyCW1Nq7J3dMsBeRsKFla6k65xtPOwTmK2352Rz5YwdHPwZDEeHT57yoVTwg-7R3/s1540/IMG_1641.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1525" data-original-width="1540" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim8X4PgroVsw5U6RoelHvuT586StUOQLhxao5AKguQthwFqS3R-sW3SMf4osUPwshsvV5Ts2bxHhgqnkMyVG23Wg4fQTWsCnqovWFMf0DPWywwiGq3QvK-btfCHyCW1Nq7J3dMsBeRsKFla6k65xtPOwTmK2352Rz5YwdHPwZDEeHT57yoVTwg-7R3/s320/IMG_1641.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I went out early this morning at 6am to get some fresh fruit and yogurt. The air was cool and clear for a Sunday in July. When I got home I sat down at the dining room table to drink my coffee. That's when it dawned on me. I was sitting looking at my beautiful plants and at the box of craft supplies. I had come full circle. I've been spending time gardening, crafting, and entertaining. I've been feeling at peace with the pace of life. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I wondered what came first. Was it the peace and contentment that brought me back to doing the things that I loved or was doing the things I loved bringing me the feeling of peace and contentment? Why do we stop doing things that bring us joy? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Either way, gratitude is the overwhelming feeling today. I'm grateful that I had the courage to make the hard decisions which lead me to this point in my life. Contrast always catches my eye when I look at artwork or nature. Today, contrast is catching my attention as I appreciate the sweetness of this present moment when I remember the stress and tension that used to be my life. Sure, I still have stress, tension, and challenges. The difference now is that those are only moments and not pervading my whole life. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Tell me, what brings you joy? Have you experienced moments of peace and contentment? What were you doing when you experienced those moments? What is it that you are grateful for today? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div>Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-35510721478603039102022-07-02T14:51:00.000-04:002022-07-02T14:51:44.283-04:00Message from the garden<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXf11dvohqY-Go3_rUqRn5NwYQyD3CaZsR_KKSMhKz7MWtq8mqOckccaR0MI0M_ZaoNWANIA5AijZS_jZZRVSaTYZzRVo0FJOHuacuvOc0ewo_MQ7ci3qUDRLRwQN3P8iaVZk8zH3y6wJSxQCjXRmwKBKK0xazycDHRl3tbW0vbzljVkzc5l_kazzH/s4032/IMG_1569.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXf11dvohqY-Go3_rUqRn5NwYQyD3CaZsR_KKSMhKz7MWtq8mqOckccaR0MI0M_ZaoNWANIA5AijZS_jZZRVSaTYZzRVo0FJOHuacuvOc0ewo_MQ7ci3qUDRLRwQN3P8iaVZk8zH3y6wJSxQCjXRmwKBKK0xazycDHRl3tbW0vbzljVkzc5l_kazzH/w321-h428/IMG_1569.jpg" width="321" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">"Now I know why not everyone has a garden, it's hard work" This was Jake's observation this morning while helping me in the garden. It is hard work but honestly, what isn't these days? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;">I'm an amateur gardener. I dig a hole, plant something, and hope for the best. That's probably not the best technique but I tend to learn better by actually doing whatever I'm trying to learn. Each year I learn more and more. Some years are plentiful and others not so much. Some problems are in my control, like learning to prune the tomato plant and fig tree. Other things are out of my control, the critters and the weather for example. </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;">The first couple rows of beans I had planted early in the season weren't looking so good. I debated about pulling them out and starting over. This morning I had to add more string to support them! They not only bounced back, but they are thriving.</span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;">The same thing happened with the Basil plant that was in my kitchen window. Most of it was dead and while I was taking it to the trash can I noticed one teeny tiny shoot on one of the stems. Instead of throwing it out I cut away all the dead parts and planted the stem with the tiny shoot in fresh soil and took it outside. Today I needed to re-pot it in a bigger container. </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;">I moved on to pulling weeds from the fire pit area. Last year we put down cardboard, then a layer of weed blocker, and topped the entire area with rocks. Yet, I still need to pull weeds from the area which got me thinking about resiliency. </span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;">Resilience (from the Cambridge dictionary) means the ability to be happy, successful, etc. again after something difficult or bad has happened. It also says the ability of a substance to return to its usual shape after being bent, stretched, or pressed. </span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;">While some weeds came out fairly easily, others had much deeper, stronger roots. Those weeds I left alone. I figured, after all they went through (cardboard, weed blocker, rocks) their resiliency earned them the right to be there. These persistent weeds, with their deep, strong roots, were reflecting back to me my own resilience and the resiliency of all women in this country. Why are there still those who fail to see that we have earned our rights? </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;">I've experienced difficult and even bad things, I've been bent, stretched, and pressed in so many areas of my life. Today, I'm sweaty, achy, and exhausted but my roots are deep, I have a support system and I've earned the right to be here. At times I feel like a teeny tiny shoot holding on and reaching for the sunshine. At times, I'm tired and ragged. Still, like the persistent plants in my garden with their strong roots, I continue to grow. </span></span></span></span><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;">Sometimes, it's not the plant but the environment that needs changing in order for it to blossom. </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;">Some gardens grow in nice, neat rows, others grow wild and untamed. Both are beautiful and both can be bountiful. One isn't better than the other. The choice of neat and tidy or wild and untamed is up to the gardener. How we each chose to live our lives is up to us. </span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;">Like most women in this country I have been contemplating the ramifications of the Supreme court's decision to overturn Roe v Wade. Although I personally am against abortion for <u>me</u> I respect the rights of each woman to make the decision that she feels is best for her and her situation. Life, after all, it not always neat and tidy. Sometimes things outside of our control happen and life becomes messy. Who can presume to know what's best for someone else? </span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">What came to me as I was pulling weeds is that it may take some time to gather our energy and start the arduous journey of pushing up, once again, through all the barriers put in place to keep us down. The work women have been doing for decades has strengthened our roots so that we can continue to grow. We have earned the right to bodily autonomy through our strength, resiliency and persistence. We can't give up now. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">If you prefer a nice, tidy garden where everything is under your control then by all means grow that type of garden at your home. If you prefer your garden wild and untamed then by all means grow that type of garden at your home. There is enough room in the world for both. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"> Imagine if you tried to go into your neighbor's garden and decided that your way of gardening is the only way and started implementing your ideas in their garden. You might think that's ok because you truly believe your way is the right way. Would you be okay with your neighbor coming into YOUR garden and implementing their ways in your garden? After all, they too feel their way is truly the right way. </span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Remember, at the end of the day, the only garden you have the right to tend to is your own. If you want to grow Swiss Chard in your garden... Go for it. But please don't tell me what to grow in my garden. Honestly, if we all focused on tending to our own gardens we'd be to tired to care what the neighbors are doing in theirs. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><br /></span></span></span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"> </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"> </span></span></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><span style="vertical-align: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div><p></p>Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-21926393522486496672022-05-19T20:03:00.000-04:002022-05-19T20:03:24.544-04:00Nothing lasts forever, not even YOM <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiffQFWr5T3P-3CQsN9xDfPuvScPw9BFkcxJYzGpdtawGQ-VwXHt5cDzGJnD0oy1oMjzBBCuw-ylq8FWCKdD9wFjmNXlewv6jevmk4DZEkL-c9_7AW1WuHVdIRo11G2JAcKLheHqHpnatODgQtQEaoUcvvSYDaEEgEykXrdfTFf4qQ5ad2Yb8V0z3uY/s4032/IMG_1232.HEIC" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiffQFWr5T3P-3CQsN9xDfPuvScPw9BFkcxJYzGpdtawGQ-VwXHt5cDzGJnD0oy1oMjzBBCuw-ylq8FWCKdD9wFjmNXlewv6jevmk4DZEkL-c9_7AW1WuHVdIRo11G2JAcKLheHqHpnatODgQtQEaoUcvvSYDaEEgEykXrdfTFf4qQ5ad2Yb8V0z3uY/w182-h242/IMG_1232.HEIC" width="182" /></a></div><br /><div>A musician friend once told me that when you're making music the pauses between the notes are just as important as the notes themselves. The importance of pauses has become a recurring theme for me. Typically, my motto is to simply plow through to the next task. It took years for me to realize the value of simply pausing and waiting until the next step becomes clear. </div><div>Right now, at this moment, the next task isn't straightforward. I thought that by the time I got to this day I would have a clear path forward. That hasn't happened. All I know for sure is that this weekend I will be teaching my final classes at Yoga on Main. </div><div><br /></div><div>Truth be told, I thought Yoga on Main was a magical place that would go on forever. I never thought the day would come when Yoga on Main no longer existed. My heart is heavy today. I know that yoga teaches us non-attachment. I know we learned that everything is temporary. I know that it's the teachings that are magical and not the structure that we call "Yoga on Main" still, I'm only human and my heart feels heavy. </div><div><br /></div><div>There are no words to adequately express the love and gratitude that I feel for all the teachers that I've studied with over the years, to name a few: Ed Zadlo, Shiva Das, Betheyla, Paula Tepedino, Shakti Durgaya, Christopher Burns and so many more. I'm grateful to Jessica Golden for entrusting me to be her sidekick as we did our best to navigate the challenges that came with the running of a yoga studio through a global pandemic, civil unrest and so much more. We could write a book about our adventures. It would surely be a bestseller, filled with drama and comedy! <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I can truly say that each person I met at Yoga on Main has had a lasting impact on my life, both teachers and students. </div><div><br /></div><div>There were challenges too, HOLY HELL were there challenges over the years! I came face to face with some pretty big egos, including my own. Those challenges taught me valuable lessons but the blessings and friendships far outweighed the difficulties. </div><div><br /></div><div>I can honestly say that I am not the same person I was when I first walked in the doors of Yoga on Main. I could never have imagined the wild ride that I would be on for the last 15 years. I have shared my darkest days and my best days with the YOM community and it's the community that I will miss most of all. I will miss the chai and chats that were the norm after yoga class. </div><div><br /></div><div>When it became clear that the time had arrived to say goodbye my first thought was that I will plow through and continue to teach yoga on zoom. When we faced a global pandemic I was grateful for zoom. It turned out to be a great way for us to stay connected and to continue to practice together. I was grateful when I thought it would only be for a few months. It was convenient to not have to drive 45 minutes and have to circle the block 28 times to find parking. It wasn't so convenient in so many other ways. Virtual hugs cannot compare to Shiva Das' famous hugs. </div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, the time has come. I do not have a clear path in front of me. What I do know for sure is that a pause is required. For the last 7 or 8 years, I have worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time. Working 7 days a week. It was necessary but exhausting. There have been many huge changes in my life as well these last few years. Changes that I haven't fully processed yet. </div><div><br /></div><div>I feel a great sense of loyalty and responsibility toward the Yoga on Main community which is why the decision to take a pause from teaching weekly yoga classes was so difficult. In order for me to continue offering yoga authentically, from my heart, I need to take time to reflect and contemplate how I want to be of service in the future. </div><div><br /></div><div>My intention is to take the summer off from teaching. I want to focus more on my personal sadhana, work in my garden, finish editing my memoir, and welcome my newest granddaughter into the world at the end of the summer. </div><div><br /></div><div>My hope is that by the fall the path forward will become more clear to me. Until then "may the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you, and the pure light within you, guide your way on". </div><div><br /></div><div>Om Namaha Shiva! </div><div><br /></div>Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-73348869506302729822022-02-10T19:36:00.024-05:002022-02-10T19:58:59.778-05:00A householder's guide to Enlightenment <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">As soon as I opened that dusty old Rubbermaid tub, I knew I had fallen down the rabbit hole. I spent the next 3 days looking at old family photos. The saying goes, "The days are long but the years are short". It feels like another lifetime and yesterday simultaneously. </div><p><o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Those long days were so hard. On a daily basis I would think to myself
"damn women's lib!!" All it did was make my life harder.
I was expected to work full-time AND raise children, AND keep house, AND
volunteer at the kids’ school, AND be a good wife, friend, daughter. On a
daily basis I felt like I was juggling balls of fire and more often than not,
dropping a few. Most nights I'd go bed with that nagging feeling in my
gut that I was failing. The photos tell a different story. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Life in those days was a three-ring circus but we did have fun. It's
always fun at the circus. My kids grew up with chickens, and dogs, and
parrots, and cats. They always had lots of family around and
friends. We had great adventures and created all sorts of fun
crafts. The house was filled with Disney movies, and singing and lots of
playing pretend with baby dolls, super heroes and Legos. There were books,
crayons and markers everywhere and an almost constant sound of
basketballs. Riding bikes and climbing trees, trick-or-treating and sleep
overs. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p>There were also tears, and yelling; lots of yelling. Let's not forget the
fighting. "She's looking at me!!!" was a very common
exclamation at our circus. I missed the memo about the bake sale at
school so I was the mom with the donut holes from the 7-Elven but I wasn't the
only mom. I forgot to wash the sleeping bag for daycare.... but I
wasn't the only mom. We were late to school; I was late to work.
There was an incident with a winter coat that landed ME in the principal’s
office and eventually to the counselor's office. (You can read about that
on my post titled "<b>My lowest motherhood moment</b>"). <o:p></o:p></p>
<p>As my kids got older, the circus changed but there was still juggling.
There was still fun and fighting, laughter and tears. Did I ever tell you
about the time that my 12yr old fired the babysitter? Yes, you read that
correctly. I'm not sure what I was more shocked about; the fact that my
12yr old fired the babysitter or the fact that the babysitter listened to her
and went home. We are quite a cast of characters. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p>In those days, I would "go to Yoga" on Wednesday nights.
Most weeks I felt like I was holding my breath until Wednesday when I could breathe.
I would rush home from work, pick up the kids from after care and bring them
home. I'd give them a quick dinner and rush to yoga. It was 1 hour,
once a week that was just for me. I didn't feel guilty about it at
all. Until, that is, parent-teacher conference with Tayler's kindergarten
teacher. That's when Mrs. Baker informed me that she felt I wasn't
giving Tayler enough attention. She came to that conclusion because
Tayler told her that I don't study her alphabet with her. You see,
I was so good at studying that Tayler didn't realize our nightly game of
alphabet bingo was actually studying. When you have children, you live in
constant fear about what is going to come out of their mouths. If you
ever need a good laugh, volunteer to be the class room mom in
kindergarten. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p>There's no doubt in my mind that Yoga made me a better mother. Not
only did yoga/meditation give me the tools I needed to stay calm and present
but I believe that the benefits of my practice had a ripple effect on the
children. I remember one day; my son was having a meltdown. It had
been a rough day for all of us. I could total relate to how he was
feeling because I too was on the verge of a meltdown. Instead, I sat on
the floor next to him. He screamed.... I practiced the Ujjayi
breath. The louder he screamed, the louder I'd make the breath
sound. In between his screams he would look at me; curious. Slowly, he
began to match the rhythm of my breath. Eventually, he crawled into my
lap. We both felt better after that. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p>I remember daydreaming about the day I would have more time to
practice. I used to daydream about going to yoga retreats and immersing
myself in the "Yoga lifestyle". I so badly wanted to go
to India. I was convinced that I would never truly be a yogi if I
didn't go to India. I wasted so much time thinking that when my children
grow up, I'll be able to "fulfill my dharma". <o:p></o:p></p>
<p> As the saying goes, the days are long but the years are short.
I've been studying and practicing for 27yrs. I never did make it to
India. I've never gone on a yoga retreat. I did however manage to
take nearly 2,000 hours of yoga teacher training. I've been blessed with
many incredible yoga adventures. I've met tons of amazing people along
this yoga journey. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p>I turned 50 this past August. My children are all grown. No more
chauffeuring kids, no more cheering from the bleachers, no more parent-teacher
conferences. I have more time. This mid-life space is a really
interesting space to be in. I have more time to do all the things I've
always dreamt about doing only to find that those things don't seem important
anymore. Looking through the photos, I realized that I've been
living my dharma all along. Raising kind, caring, compassionate, creative
children is the most important practice in the world. Fulfilling my
duties as a householder was how I honored God every day. <o:p></o:p></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhXQ1K0BKJKMW-u5a56IbekS7oox30TQAqf1gLho052O7TGNEB1b61GUxyF6evPyqYZXF8iEVlE-739vOm8MnLhVR3CX6qfrdTgeZb7ctdvBu27T00M6BNMyFXACXLVTFOKlNYaIWrCfzE8IICBy7sh1XaYAHgD6s13FO_mKeQ1SQ8Qkrq6s39uMeKx=s1136" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1136" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhXQ1K0BKJKMW-u5a56IbekS7oox30TQAqf1gLho052O7TGNEB1b61GUxyF6evPyqYZXF8iEVlE-739vOm8MnLhVR3CX6qfrdTgeZb7ctdvBu27T00M6BNMyFXACXLVTFOKlNYaIWrCfzE8IICBy7sh1XaYAHgD6s13FO_mKeQ1SQ8Qkrq6s39uMeKx=s320" width="180" /></a></p><p><br /></p>Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-56022104181271516632021-02-15T10:44:00.004-05:002021-02-15T10:44:51.189-05:00The year I got lostHow do I begin this story? It is after all, a story. A true one but a story none-the-less. A defining moment in my life but still, I acknowledge, a story. <div><br /></div><div>At first I thought the story began 10 months ago when I was attacked in Yoga-land. However, as I mentioned already, this is a true story and if I'm honest the story began many lifetimes ago. The "attack" was simply the trigger that sent me into the most recent spiral. </div><div><br /></div><div>Three months into the COVID19 crisis I found myself terrified every time my kids went to work that they would contract this potentially deadly disease, and trying to adapt to a virtual life. Work, teaching, socializing all shifted to staring at a computer screen for most of my day. </div><div><br /></div><div>Then June happened. My dog, Luna, who I love like my child was having trouble breathing. I was given 2 options 1) surgery that cost $8,000. (which might as well have been a million dollars) 2) Put her down. I was devastated. That was just the beginning. Thanks to the generosity of my family and friends I was able to pay for Luna's surgery. The day of her surgery we had some freak storm that literally lasted all of 5 minutes but caused thousands of dollars in damage. A huge tree in my backyard came down taking with it my fence and shed and lots of other things including the power lines. </div><div><br /></div><div>That night I couldn't sleep. I didn't know if Luna would survive, I didn't know how I was going to re-pay everyone for the donations. My virtual life came to a screeching halt without electricity. Luckily, I was able to charge my phone in the car since I was waiting for an update on Luna. She wasn't doing as well as we had hoped after the surgery. At 2am I decided to check my emails to distract myself for a while. </div><div><br /></div><div>It was at that moment, in the middle of this traumatic day that a "trauma informed" yoga teacher decided to attack me. You see, it was June 2020 and the United States was on fire. There was a deadly pandemic raging, there was political and civil unrest. It was in the middle of this traumatic moment in my life that I was told that I hadn't done my part for social justice. I was attacked for not being sensitive to the needs of people who have experienced trauma. It was also brought to my attention that I was contributing to the "cultural appropriation" of yoga. </div><div><br /></div><div>At first, I tried to defend myself. Then I got angry and decided to back away from yoga, social media, and basically everything and everyone that wasn't required or my family. Then the downward spiral began to speed up. Self-doubt set in and I started to think maybe she was right. Maybe I am a terrible person. Maybe I am not good enough. Maybe I'm not doing enough. Maybe I am contributing to the suffering of others. Once the spiral of negative self talk gets going it's like a runaway train. </div><div><br /></div><div>I defended myself over and over, I got angry, then I got to work. I needed to improve myself. I read books, watched videos, listened to podcasts. The more I learned the more confused I became. That's when it dawned on me. Maybe, just maybe, she was wrong. I'm not a terrible person. I am good enough. I am not contributing to the cultural appropriation of yoga. I do care deeply about social justice. </div><div><br /></div><div>I will continue the practice of self-reflection and I will continue to work on self improvement. What I won't do anymore is defend myself or explain myself. I ask that you judge me on your own personal experience with me and not by the words of others. </div><div><br /></div><div>I have one more thing to ask of you. Remember that everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Therefore, before you make the choice to verbally attack someone consider the possibility that your words may trigger that person back into self-destructive habits. </div><div><br /></div><div>"Trauma informed" means to recognize that trauma comes in many forms and in order to truly offer "trauma informed yoga" means that you are kind, gentle, and compassionate with everyone. Before you make the choice to verbally attack someone ask yourself how would I speak to this person if I knew they were a victim of years of verbal abuse in the past? </div><div><br /></div><div> The first rule of yoga is AHIMSA.... Do no harm. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-1548077816976149302020-09-28T21:33:00.002-04:002020-09-28T21:37:54.271-04:00What does Basketball have to do with Yoga?! <p> Every other Thursday I pay bills. Every month, when I pay the mortgage I congratulate myself for making it through another month. More often then not I say to myself (and to anyone who happens to be near me at the time), "I really feel like someone should throw confetti when I pay the mortgage." I actually mean it. Well, the other day my daughter did just that! She came home with a plastic gun that shot out confetti! Tonight, while I was sweeping up the confetti I was reminded of something my teacher said many years ago. </p><p>Let me set the scene for this story. I rushed home from work to make dinner for my family and help with homework. I gather myself up and drive an hour to visit my teacher at his house. I had been daydreaming about spending time talking about Yoga with Ed. In those days my life was filled with work and kids and household chores so the thought of spending a couple of hours immersed in Yoga was heaven. </p><p>Anyway, when I get there he's watching a basketball game. I'm not going to lie, I was disappointed. I wanted to learn about Yoga and Life. Basketball was a constant in my house in those days. My daughter played for school, all the neighborhood kids played on our net outside, it was always on TV or constantly being talked about. I just wanted to talk to an adult about Yoga and Life!</p><p>At one point, he says "you know, Basketball is very much like life." I wasn't convinced but I was listening. He continued, "If you miss a shot and you sit under the basket crying about it the game is still going on at the other end of the court without you and if you make the shot and stand under the basket patting yourself on the back, you're missing the game that's going on at the other end of the court without you." </p><p>Turns out basketball, like paying bills, is a lesson in working without attachment to the fruits of your labor. We work hard for the sake of working hard and offer it all up in service to God. Life, like basketball moves so fast. Don't waste too much time worrying about the failures or boasting about your accomplishments. The point of life is to stay in the game. Keep working, keep moving and for the love of God enjoy it. </p><p>The other life lesson I learned that night is that when we keep our minds and hearts open the world becomes our classroom and every moment of this crazy life is an opportunity to learn something. Who knew a basketball game was teaching me one of the principle lessons of the Bhagavad Gita? </p><p><i><span><span face=""helvetica neue", helvetica, arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white;">"You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work</span><span face=""helvetica neue", helvetica, arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white;">. You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction. Perform work in this world, Arjuna, as a man established within himself - without selfish attachments, and alike in success and defeat.” </span></span></i></p><p>I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy the accomplishments. I'm just saying don't spend too much time patting yourself on the back. Throw the confetti if that will make you happy. Just remember that tomorrow you'll have to clean it up and then get back to work so you can pay the mortgage next month and the game continues. </p><p><br /></p>Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-15812732653035249562020-08-27T12:07:00.001-04:002020-08-27T12:07:58.544-04:00Where do you stand? <b>Witnessing this moment in our country's history I osculate between horror and hope. </b><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Story after story of systemic racism breaks my heart daily.</div><div style="text-align: center;">Peaceful protests - arms linked in solidarity fill me with hope.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">People I love and respect defending and justifying violence disgusts me. </div><div style="text-align: center;">People I love and respect pledging to protect and support our marginalized brothers and sisters inspires me. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Speeches that vomit hatred for another in the name of religion are vile. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Actions of love, respect and service to another need no public declaration - God is there. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">I lose faith in humanity when I see someone being treated less than human. </div><div style="text-align: center;">The resilience of the human spirit gives me strength and courage to keep extending my hand in service. </div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">The roots of hatred are so deep. It's overwhelming. </div></div><div style="text-align: center;">It feels like we're digging up the roots of an ancient oak tree with a plastic beach shovel. </div><div style="text-align: center;">But the mighty oak tree started as infinite potential stored in a tiny acorn. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">In this moment, we hold in our hands the same infinite potential for love and mutual respect. </div><div style="text-align: center;">Like the tiny acorn, we are right now buried in darkness. We must allow ourselves to soften, be broken open, and continue to reach for light. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><b>Witnessing this moment in our country's history begs the question....What side of history do you want to be on? Are you contributing to the horror or the hope? How does your choice feel? </b></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-69317486305463528922020-05-28T16:12:00.000-04:002020-05-28T16:12:47.109-04:00Our shared belief Those of you who know me know that I have very strong opinions. I even joke about my strong opinions on things that don't fit neatly into one of my mentally constructed boxes. My opinions and my values are very clear to me. Things are either right or wrong, up or down, hot or cold, good or bad.... I could go on but you get the picture.<br />
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The practice of acknowledging and examining my strongly held beliefs has been daunting and difficult but imperative. Each day, I strive to be a better version of myself than I was the day before. That requires I take a good hard look at my thoughts and beliefs. The beauty of this bat-shit crazy human life is that we have the ability to evolve and grow. It's not an easy process but nothing worth doing is ever easy.<br />
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It's overwhelming to see all the injustice and evil in the world. The problems seem insurmountable.<br />
I often times feel like I'm losing faith in humanity. How can there be so much evil in this world? I honestly, don't understand. My heart breaks day after day. I feel powerless.<br />
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Watching the video of a cop murdering a handcuffed black man on the street was horrifying. There's no doubt that what we all witnessed in that video was evil. That's clear. What's not clear to me is how anyone can defend the man who murdered George Floyd. What's not clear to me is how the other cops can stand there and do nothing. I can't even find the words to express the rage and sadness that I feel that this happened AGAIN. <br />
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I have a teenage son. He's 17 years old and believes he's invincible as most teenage boys do. Whenever he leaves the house I worry as most mothers do. What I can't stop thinking about is the terror a mother of a black child must feel every time her child leaves the house. When I look at my children I see your children too. <br />
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The rage and sadness I'm feeling today is making it difficult for me to find the words so please forgive me as I must speak bluntly. Until we all examine our belief that one life is more valuable than another NONE of our children are safe from evil. Until we look at each other and see ourselves NONE of us are safe from evil. We cannot heal the world around us and right the injustices until we acknowledge and examine that strongly held belief that "WE" are more valuable than "THEM". <br />
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I don't give a damn what color you are, what religion you are, what political party you align yourself with, I don't give a damn whether you are straight or gay or both. I don't give a damn how much money you have or how educated you are. WE ARE THEM!! WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS!!! <br />
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FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PEOPLE!!! WAKE THE FUCK UP!!<br />
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We must hold each other and ourselves accountable for not only our actions but the subtle underlying beliefs that contribute to the injustices in the world around us. The practice of self-inquiry may show you some belief that you weren't even conscious of. It may show you a belief that you are ashamed of or feel guilty about. It may be a belief that is really hard to look at. What matters now is acknowledging and taking responsibility. We all have the ability to evolve and grow or to stick our heads in the sand and pretend that we aren't part of the problem. The choice is yours. <br />
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I am you and you are me. This must become our shared belief. <br />
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<br />Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-8183072335328447412020-03-16T19:03:00.001-04:002020-03-16T19:03:17.516-04:00Are you listening?For years I've had this recurring dream. A nightmare actually. In the dream I'm the only one who notices that someone is about to open fire in a crowded place. I'm in a panic because I know what's about to happen. How do I warn people without bringing attention to myself? How can I save everyone? Why isn't anyone else seeing what I'm seeing? What should I do?<br />
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The details change. Sometimes I'm in a bank, sometimes I'm in a school, Once I was at an outdoor sporting event. What's always the same is that I can see something that no one else sees. What's always the same is people don't listen to my warnings.<br />
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Dreams seem to carry powerful messages for me. I've been trying to understand the messages of this particular dream for a long time. The fact that it's so dramatic and intense makes it hard to think about. The fact that it's recurring means that as hard as it is to look at it's imperative that I get the message. <br />
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It's March 16, 2020. We are in the middle of a global pandemic. Everyone is understandably freaking out. It's a dramatic and intense time, much like in my dream. Some businesses have listened to the warnings and closed while others have not listened to the warnings. Some people are taking the warning of social distancing seriously while others...have not.<br />
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Even in yoga-land, people are understandably freaking out. So many people I know were struggling financially before Covid19 and will now most certainly suffer even more. How do we quarantine ourselves when so many of us depend on our social interactions for not only financial support but also mental and emotional support? What should we do?<br />
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There's a moment in the dream where I think to myself, maybe I'm over-reacting. Maybe it's not a mass shooting that's about to happen. What will people think if I'm wrong? If it was anything serious surely someone else would notice before me. <br />
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But what if I'm not wrong? What if I don't speak up and people die because I was too afraid to speak up? Even if no one listens I have to at least do my part to warn people. How could I live with myself if I stand by and do nothing?<br />
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<b>The message of the dream is this.... </b></div>
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* be quiet</div>
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* pay attention to your surroundings</div>
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* speak up even if you're scared </div>
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* trust your gut</div>
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* trust someone else's gut when they give you a warning that might seem strange or weird</div>
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* be still </div>
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* use this time of quarantine for contemplation </div>
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* not everything needs to be a social gathering</div>
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* get back to basics</div>
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* exam your values </div>
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* old ways of working and living are no longer an option ... look for another way </div>
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* look out for one another; share your resources</div>
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* take only what you need </div>
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* respect Mother Nature or suffer the consequences, the choice is yours</div>
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The Goddess, Durga is the great warrior Goddess of Protection. When your mind begins to run out of control during these dramatic and intense times call on her. Since your mind is going to obsess anyway give it something good to obsess over. When you don't know what to do repeat her mantra: Om Hreem Shreem Dum Durgaya Namaha.<br />
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<br />Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-42980806117176185552020-03-06T19:17:00.000-05:002020-03-07T17:27:37.112-05:00My heart hurts today <div style="text-align: center;">
My heart hurts today. </div>
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Another revered teacher exposed. He wasn't my teacher but it still hurts. Another story on the news. Hindus killing Muslims in the name of religion. I'm not a Hindu or a Muslim but it still hurts. More people being used and abused. It's not me this time, but it still hurts. My heart hurts today and I don't know what to do about it. </div>
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Yoga has always been my saving Grace. The spiritual practice of yoga has literally pulled me out of a darkness that I never thought I could come back from. Yoga is where I learned who I truly am. </div>
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But today.....I'm questioning. </div>
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Today....my heart hurts. </div>
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Sadly, I wasn't surprised to hear about another teacher who has "fallen from Grace". He isn't the first and he certainly won't be the last. Truthfully, I feel like it's good for things like this to be exposed. </div>
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I'm grateful to the students who are finally saying enough is enough. I acknowledge the strength and bravery it took for them to come forward. </div>
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What did surprise me is the story on NPR this morning. There's fighting in India between the Hindus and Muslims in the name of religion. For years I've been telling people that what appeals to me about the Hindu religion is that you are free to worship God in whatever way you see fit. Yoga has taught me that having a personal relationship with God is what is most important. BOY! DO I HAVE EGG ON MY FACE! I clearly don't know anything about the Hindu religion. Nor do I know anything about the Muslim religion. What I do know is that when I heard the gut wrenching cries of the Muslim woman upon hearing the news that her son was killed my heart broke into a million pieces. What I do know is a Mother's love... and pain. </div>
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Today... I'm questioning....What about Ahimsa?<br />
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<i>Ahimsa: A Hindu spiritual doctrine that literally means respect for all living things and avoidance of violence toward others. </i>Read that again... Respect for all livings things and avoidance of violence towards others. </div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">The other day I was talking to a fellow yoga teacher. She was understandably upset over the stories that are coming out about her teacher. It's heartbreaking to learn that someone you love and respected isn't who you thought they were. This teacher who did these horrible things to people is also the teacher who taught so many students the powerful practices of yoga. The same teacher who destroyed people's lives is also the same teacher who saved people's lives through the sacred teachings of yoga. </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">This is the same struggle I've had with the Catholic church. When I learned about the priests who did horrible things to the children I was heartbroken. When I learned about how systemic and insidious the abuse is I was physically sick to my stomach. I vowed to never step foot in a Catholic church again as long as I live. But the same church that destroyed so many lives is also the same church that has saved so many other lives. </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">Like my friend, Ananda, I don't want to stop practicing yoga any more than I want to stop praying the Rosary. </span><span style="text-align: left;">How do I continue to share the teachings of yoga when so much of it has been tainted by violence? How can I continue to share my love for the Blessed Mother and the Rosary when so much of the Catholic religion has been tainted by violence? Where do I go from here? </span></div>
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For starters, it's time to let go of the labels which separate us. It's time to let go of the religions that make enemies of our neighbors. It's time to let go of greed. It's time to let go of the desire for power over others. It's time to let go of the veils that prevent us from seeing the truth. </div>
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I cannot control the actions of others but I can control my actions. I will choose love over hate. I will stand up and protect those who aren't able to protect themselves. I will not turn a blind eye to abuse. Above all, I am committed to upholding the fundamental doctrine of Ahimsa. </div>
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The spiritual practice of Yoga has always been a safe space for me. I intent to do everything in my power to make sure that it continues to be a safe space for myself and for the students who choose to practice with me. </div>
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Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-58230447707907709082019-06-24T12:55:00.000-04:002019-06-24T12:55:41.678-04:00Change is bittersweet <div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.3333px;">It hit me today. I've known it would happen but today the reality of it hit me. Tomorrow morning will be the last yoga class I take in this space. As I sat at the coffee shop sipping Chai I looked across the street. Reminiscing about the first class I took at Yoga on Main. </span><br />
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It was a Saturday morning and the first person I met when I opened the door to Yoga on Main was a woman named Kate. She had long hair, almost down to her feet. She greeted me with a smile and a hug as she said "I'm so glad you're here." In that moment I had no idea how much my life would change; how much I would change.</div>
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My love affair with yoga had begun many years before. By the time I arrived at Yoga on Main I had established a home practice and I was meditating daily. Actually, I was already teaching by then. My regular yoga teacher had stopped teaching on Saturdays so I was just looking for a place to practice. What I found was so much more. </div>
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Yoga on Main is not just a yoga studio. I don't think there are words to adequately convey what Yoga on Main is but I'm going to try. A lot of people, when they first come to YOM, say they can feel the years of spiritual practice that has happened in the space. Some returning students have referred to YOM as the "mother ship" and expressed that coming back to the studio is like coming back home to refuel. Some have said that no matter how far away they travel or how long they have been away they are comforted knowing that YOM is always there. In a world of constant change YOM has been a stable base for so many people. It's been a spring board for others. Over the years many students have been trained here and have gone on to become incredible yoga teachers themselves. Many opening their own studios near and far. </div>
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At Yoga on Main I learned how to be a yoga teacher, and an Ayurveda Lifestyle consultant but most importantly I learned how to be a yoga student. I have learned the tools necessary to navigate the journey to self-realization. I started practicing yoga as a way to relieve stress but the practice has also taken me into the depths of my soul. For me, Yoga on Main is a sacred container. In that space I feel safe to explore, to let my guard down, to be vulnerable, to be authentically ME.</div>
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In this sacred space I have learned to look at the challenges in life as a opportunity to put the teachings of yoga into practice. I have learned that yoga isn't just the physical practice that we do once a week in yoga class. I've learned that yoga is a way of living in harmony with nature and with each other. </div>
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Let's face it though, Yoga is not all love and light and cotton candy. This practice of yoga is hard sometimes. I have had my fair share of challenges even in yoga land. I've come face to face with my own ego and the ego of others. Those times when my ego got the best of me I would feel ashamed about the way I handled situations. I would return to Yoga on Main, head down in shame and I would be greeted with open arms and the world famous, Shiva Das hug. In those moments I learned forgiveness in my teacher's example. </div>
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This sacred space that is Yoga on Main cannot be contained in the four walls of a building. The scared space that is Yoga on Main is a way of living, it is a practice of living in harmony with nature and in harmony with each other. Yoga on Main is a community of teachers, students, and spiritual seekers. The wisdom, love, and support provided to so many is so big and so deep that no building can contain it. </div>
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The "mother-ship" is moving but the sacred container that is Yoga on Main will remain the same safe haven it's always been. No matter how far we travel or how long we've been away there will always be Yoga on Main waiting with open arms, a smile and the feeling of "I'm so glad you're here" </div>
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Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-85095278271562410062019-06-18T14:21:00.000-04:002019-12-01T15:57:03.617-05:00The man with the conch shellI recently ran into a man that I had met only once a couple of years ago. I greeted him with "it's nice to see you again." To which he replied "<i><b>it's nice to be seen</b></i>." That simple statement "<b><i>it's nice to be seen.</i></b>" has been rolling around in my head for a couple of weeks now. It reminded me of Mrs. Greene, the principle at the elementary school.<br />
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Mrs. Greene and I didn't always see eye to eye when Tayler was at Overlook but the year Jake started I had a change of heart. It was Mrs. Greene who introduced me, and the whole school, to an African word, "Ubantu". Ubantu, she explained, was a way to say I see you. You are because I am. It is a reminder of our shared humanity. When children are acting out they are seeking attention. When Mrs. Greene would notice students not getting along she would say "Ubantu" to remind the children of the Ubantu philosophy: I see you. You and I are one. She felt that if the children felt "seen" they would have less reason to act out. </div>
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I've spent most of my life hiding. Doing my best to blend into the background. I choose the spot in the back of the room always. I cringe when the Facebook notification says "someone has tagged you in a photo" And yet, there is an innate need to be seen. </div>
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<i>"<b>It's nice to be seen</b>" </i></div>
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It is this innate need to be seen that causes some people to be boastful. To be honest, I mentally slap people who act like Peacocks displaying their feathers. I'm not proud of it but it's true. I have no tolerance for people that constantly want to be the center of attention. I want to scream at them: </div>
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"YOU ARE NOT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE!!" I hear myself thinking "Get over yourself'" when someone is trying hard to impress me with how wonderful they are and how much they have accomplished. Then I beat myself up for being so mean. I tell myself that it's the green eyed monster of jealousy that is making me feel so irritated. </div>
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In a moment of clarity I recognize myself in those peacocks. I remember our shared humanity, Ubantu. I remember that the same innate human desire to be seen is in me and in you. How we express this desire may be different but it comes from the same place. </div>
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<i><b>It's nice to be seen</b> </i>but I have no control over what others see in me. Instead, I will focus on making an effort to be more present with others so that I may SEE beyond the ego personality. Who ARE we beyond our ego personality? Can I see that within myself? Can I see it in others? What does it feel like to really be seen? </div>
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Ubantu... I see you. I'm grateful to the man with the conch shell who reminded me "<b><i>It's nice to be seen." </i></b></div>
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Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-15890142682410389182019-05-23T21:00:00.000-04:002019-05-23T21:00:00.276-04:00Compassion "Where's the compassion?" I've spent a lot time thinking about compassion since that question was posed to me. First thing I did was look up the definition of compassion.<br />
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Compassion; noun (online dictionary)<br />
"<i>sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortune of others." </i><br />
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"compassion literally means to suffer together." (greatergood.berkeley.edu)<br />
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Then I read a bunch of online articles about what compassion is. I consulted the Bhagavad Gita and the Upanishads. I watched some podcasts about it. I had resolved to learn everything I could about compassion.<br />
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At the end of my week long search I can say, with a fair amount of certainty, that where compassion is not is in my head. What I did find in my head was a lot of negative self-talk. I kept telling myself that I am somehow deficient in the "compassion department". How can I feel compassion for people who have hurt me? That's crazy!! No way!! I'm not feeling sorry for those people! <br />
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<i><b>Get out of your head and into your heart. </b></i></div>
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This morning a sat for meditation with the thought that I had failed at finding compassion. Sitting in front of my alter I prayed to the Divine Mother to show me the way. There wasn't much time after meditation to journal. I was already running late for work but as I showered I felt myself getting angry. </div>
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I am a compassionate person!!! and just like that... I found where compassion is. It's in my heart. It was as if the Divine Mother turned the light on in my heart. I could see clearly that love, empathy, and compassion are qualities of my true nature. </div>
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Through out the day today I had flashes of memories. Memories where I felt hurt or betrayed. When I observed those memories I was seeing the actions of the other person. It wasn't until I turned my focus inward towards myself that I was able to see "where the compassion was". It was in my ability to forgive over and over. It was in my ability to keep showing up wholeheartedly. It was in my ability to see that the actions of the person doing the hurting were motivated by their own pain and suffering. </div>
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The Divine Mother's light in my heart helped me to see that in my effort for self preservation I had hardened my heart. At the time, it felt like the only way for me to free myself from the endless cycle of abuse that had become my dysfunctional marriage. I had come to believe that my capacity for forgiveness was a sign of weakness. I must be stupid to have stayed in an unhealthy relationship for so long. I was wrong, I wasn't stupid or weak. I have compassion for the suffering of others. I am blessed with a great capacity to "suffer together". Feeling the pain and suffering of others as if it were my own is compassion. </div>
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One of the articles I read said that compassion is not only feeling the suffering of others but also wanting to help. The fact of the matter is that sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do to help someone is to show them that their actions have consequences. I can be a compassionate person and maintain strong boundaries. I can feel compassion for your suffering and still hold you accountable for your actions when you use your suffering as an excuse to hurt others. </div>
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Now, the work is to have compassion for myself and acknowledge that I am doing the very best I can. Allowing myself to soften and open my heart again will take time, patience and self compassion. I have faith that returning to my true nature will be worth the effort. </div>
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"Where's the compassion?" In the lotus of the heart. Om Mani Padme Hum.</div>
Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-67055051282081455972019-05-11T15:25:00.000-04:002019-05-11T15:25:16.357-04:00The Yoga of MotherhoodAt yoga this morning a woman said (about motherhood) <i>"even though it was really hard I wouldn't have it any other way. " </i>Her daughter is grown and she has the 20/20 vision of hindsight on her side. My initial thought was how lucky she is that she doesn't have any regrets.<br />
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My kids are mostly grown too. My vision, however, was not as clear at first. For a second I missed the part where she said <i>"It was really hard..." </i> I sometimes regret not having the option to be a stay at home mom. I sometimes still worry that I could have done things better. I sometimes still feel somehow deficient. Still.... I wouldn't have it any other way. As we all know, motherhood takes us to the brink of insanity nearly every day but it also shows us our infinity capacity to love.<br />
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As I was reflecting on my experiences with motherhood I could see very clearly that it has provided plenty of opportunities to practice the teachings of yoga.<br />
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Things like "non-attachment" might seem foreign to some but to a mom, it's a daily experience.<br />
"Where's my favorite coffee mug?" Oh... there it is in the basement with paint brushes in it. Eating soup with a fork because all the spoons have mysteriously disappeared. I could write a book entitled "The Nicholson mysteries" about all the exercises in non-attachment. The mystery of the missing spoons is just the latest edition.<br />
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Learning to stay one pointed in the midst of chaos. There's a story of a yoga master that was able to meditate in the middle of New York City. He's got nothing on yoga-moms. Have you ever tried to cook dinner with kids fighting, barking dogs chasing each other while still wearing your work clothes and not loose your mind? When I started meditating my kids were little. I would set a timer outside my bedroom door. It didn't take long before I'd hear whispers and then fighting on the other side of that door. Still, I flexed my discipline muscles and continued to sit in "meditation" until the timer went off. As I learned "one pointed concentration" my kids learned boundaries and the importance of self-care. They may have caused chaos but they rarely opened the door.<br />
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Ever heard of ahimsa? Ahimsa is a first principle in yoga -- Non-harming. That might seem obvious to new moms rocking their sweet little ones who coo and smile at them all day. It's much harder when your teenager screams "I hate you!! you're ruining my life". I never understood how anyone could hurt their child until..... PUBERTY. I shudder to think what kind of mother I would have been without my yoga practice.<br />
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All I ever really wanted from the yoga practice was equanimity of mind. I wanted to be able to maintain composure regardless of what was going on around me. Lucky for me God is generous and gives me lots of chances to practice. From, everyday chances like when the dog destroys yet another sofa to extreme chances like when my daughter nearly dies in childbirth. What I've learned is that although it's important to maintain composure in the moment it's also important that we acknowledge our emotions and allow ourselves to feel them.... Even if that means meltdowns in the shower. Teaching little kids how to deal with really BIG emotions is done by example. If we don't allow our children to see us feeling our feelings then they grow up without the tools to process their own. This is one of the many balancing "poses" moms practice daily. The balance between maintaining composure so that kids feel safe but also allowing them to see us feeling our feelings.<br />
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Perhaps the most interesting experience of motherhood is the ability to hold two opposing emotions at the same time. The moment you can feel so much love that your heart could burst and at the same time wanting to loose your shit when you see your daughter carved "I love you Mom" on your beautiful wood dining room table. The moment your kid comes home way past curfew and you feel relief that they are still alive and at the same time wanting to kill them for ignoring curfew. How about that feeling of pride when you see what truly great humans your kids are and at the same time feeling so much guilt and self doubt worrying about all the mistakes you've made.<br />
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Every motherhood moment is simultaneously filled with the greatest joy you've ever known and with the most overwhelming fear and anxiety. Motherhood is not "having no regrets" It's about doing the best you can. It's about loving fiercely.<br />
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<i>"Even though it's really hard, I wouldn't have it any other way." </i>I couldn't agree more, Vicki.<br />
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Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-89644154984082645602019-04-04T20:54:00.000-04:002019-04-04T20:55:17.485-04:00Good night to Swaha <div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">Tonight feels like a good night to swaha. </span></div>
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<i>Swaha is what we say as we offer our intentions into the fire for transformation. </i></div>
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<i><b>Swaha is I offer, I release </b></i></div>
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I offer my gratitude </div>
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Swaha!</div>
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I release fear</div>
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Swaha!</div>
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I offer myself in service</div>
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Swaha!</div>
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I release worry</div>
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Swaha!</div>
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I offer my heart with love and compassion</div>
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Swaha!</div>
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I release resentment </div>
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Swaha!</div>
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I offer forgiveness to myself and others</div>
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Swaha! </div>
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I release anger and frustration</div>
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Swaha!</div>
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I offer my home to anyone who needs a safe space</div>
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Swaha!</div>
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I release all that no longer services me </div>
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Swaha! </div>
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I offer kindness and understanding</div>
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I release the heaviness in my heart</div>
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Swaha!</div>
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I offer my thoughts, words, and deeds as instruments of God's Divine Will.</div>
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Swaha!</div>
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I release my ego at the feet of the Divine Mother</div>
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Swaha! </div>
Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-82942132020029846122019-02-18T18:24:00.000-05:002019-02-18T18:37:11.818-05:00Moon magic <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">About 10 years ago my teacher asked me if I would represent our yoga studio at a women’s </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">conference. My first thought upon hearing this request was “what do I know about being a woman?”. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">That was a huge wake up call for me. I had completely lost my connection to myself. At that time in</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">my life I was struggling in a very dysfunctional/abusive marriage. I was working full time, teaching</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">yoga, trying to raise a family and run a household. The only way I could survive was to shut myself</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">off from my emotions. I fulfilled all my responsibilities. I worked very hard at maintaining the illusion</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">that I was strong and capable but on the inside, I was broken into a million little pieces. I didn’t even </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">recognize myself. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><i>I’m grateful for the strong solar energy in my nature that gave me the strength I needed to take care</i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><i>of my family but something was missing. </i></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">As I furthered my study of yoga and Ayurveda I learned the axiom, Like increases like and opposites</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">cure. A Vedic astrologer once told me that the sun is the strongest planet in my chart. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">In an effort to find balance I asked my Ayurveda teacher, Ed Zadlo, for guidance. He suggested that</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I start </span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre;">chanting the moon mantra: </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"><b><i>Om Som Somaya Namaha. </i></b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">During Ayurveda class I was reminded of the moon salutation that I learned years earlier as a way to</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">pacify the fiery nature of Pitta. I decided to do some research. I wanted to learn all I could about the</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">moon salutation. I was disappointed that I could not find ANY information about the moon salutation</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">that I had learned from a teacher named, Betheyla Anuradha. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">After 20 years of studying yoga I had come to know that direct experience was the best teacher. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">So, I embarked on an adventure. Beginning on a new moon, each night I would flow through </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">11 rounds of Betheyla’s moon salutation and then chanted 108x the moon mantra. This “new moon</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;"> sadhana” (spiritual practice) continued every night until the following new moon. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Each evening as I flowed through the sequence repeating the mantra mentally with each breath the</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">moon began to reveal her lessons. Each evening as I flowed through the sequence with the mantra</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">repeating itself in my mind I began to find my way back to myself. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">At the end of the month long sadhana I decided to lead a new moon sadhana workshop and share </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">what I learned with others. Watching the students as they moved through the sequence was so </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">powerful. I cannot find the words to adequately describe what I witnessed. The sequence was new</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">to the students so the first few rounds the students were very much in their head. Their movements</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">were a little awkward. BUT…..that moment, when they got out of their head and they began to flow</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">smoothly through each movement with the flow of their breath was magical! </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The feedback from the students after that first class was overwhelming. Everyone was as moved by</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">the practice as I was. I knew that I had to offer the new moon sadhana as often as I could. </span><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre;">Many of</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre;">the students in that first class have gone on to teach the new moon sadhana in their own yoga</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre;">communities. I feel so blessed to have learned it directly from Betheyla. She was an amazing,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre;">inspiring teacher and it makes me so happy to know that she is still inspiring students through her </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; white-space: pre;">beautiful moon salutation. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Over the past 7 years or so, I have been following the phases of the moon and I continue to celebrate</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">each new moon with the new moon sadhana. Some months I practice on my own. Other times I </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">share the experience with others. Each new moon I write down my intentions for what it is that I </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">want to grow in my life. I flow through the moon salutation and chant the moon mantra. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">I am eternally grateful to Betheyla for sharing this powerful sequence with me. It has become a</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">lifelong sadhana. The teachings that have been revealed to me through the new moon sadhana </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">have helped me reclaim my feminine nature. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Each time I lead a new moon sadhana I am in awe of the power of this simple practice. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">Dr. David Frawley says in one of his books that the Sun represents our Striving towards God and the</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">moon represents God’s blessings (soma) flowing towards us. The moon salutation gives us an </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">opportunity to open ourselves up to receive. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">So many women have a hard time receiving. They are more comfortable giving and doing. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">The moon salutation reminds us to open ourselves up to receive the blessings from God and in</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre;">learning to open we become more receptive to receiving support we all so desperately need. </span></div>
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Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-60592887441824641742019-01-20T12:02:00.000-05:002019-01-20T12:02:01.879-05:00What will you say to God?So much of the news is so disturbing. So much of it makes me feel sick to my stomach. I know it's important to know what's going on in the world. We can't stick our heads in the sand but how do we not fall into despair? This morning I wanted to check the road conditions before leaving the house. While waiting for the weather I listened to a story about a group of Catholic school kids tormenting a Native American man. I'm not sure why, but it disturbed me even more knowing that these children were Catholic school children. I was a Catholic school child. I learned that God is everywhere, all the time. I learned treat others with kindness. <div>
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<i><b>While waiting to hear about the road conditions I started to wonder....</b></i> </div>
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What will that Catholic school boy say to God when God asks him why he turned his back on him when God came to him in the form of a Native American man? </div>
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What will you say to God when he asks you why you turned your back on him when he came to you for help in the form of a immigrant? </div>
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What will you say to God when he asks you why you turned your back on him when he came to you for help in the form of a woman? </div>
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What will you say to God when he asks you why you turned your back on him when he came to you for help in the form of a black man? </div>
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What will you say to God when he asks you why you turned your back on him when he came to you for help in the form a homeless person? </div>
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What will you say to God when he asks you why you turned your back on him when he came to you for help in the form an addict? </div>
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What will you say to God when he asks you why you turned your back on him when he came to you for help in the form of a Muslim, or Jew, or Hindu?</div>
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What will you say to God when he asks you why you turned your back on him when he came to you for help in the form of the great oceans? the earth? the animals? </div>
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God is in everyone and everything. Not just in you but in me too. In the words of the Upanishads: </div>
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<i><b>Those who see all creatures in themselves </b></i></div>
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<i><b>and themselves in all creatures know no fear.</b></i></div>
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<i><b>Those who see all creatures in themselves </b></i></div>
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<i><b>and themselves in all creatures know no grief. </b></i></div>
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<i><b>How can the multiplicity of life</b></i></div>
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<i><b>Delude the one who sees its unity? </b></i></div>
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<i><b>~Isha Upanishad</b></i></div>
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Don't be deluded by the different names and forms. Remember that God is in EVERYONE and EVERYTHING. Are you prepared to answer the question? What will you say to God when he asks you? </div>
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Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-33531063654338535402018-11-01T19:28:00.001-04:002018-11-01T19:28:19.366-04:00Yoga Sadhana - the gift of self-care I want to talk about self-care. More specifically, why is it that self-care is the first thing to fall by the waste side at times when we need it the most? Is it possible to hold onto our self-care routines in the midst of chaos?<br />
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With candy corn still in my teeth I can already feel Santa's sleigh nipping at my heels.<br />
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<b>What's in Santa's sleigh THIS year? </b></div>
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A heaping helping of added financial pressure.</div>
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A second page added to the "to do" list. </div>
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Another mask of forced cheerfulness to wear. </div>
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A big box of tangled Christmas lights to struggle with along with your tangled emotions. </div>
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Achy feet and achy backs wrapped in shiny paper.</div>
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Plates of magic cookies that mysterious shrink your clothes. </div>
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And let's not forget the endless hours of Christmas cheer coming from every speaker! </div>
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It's the most wonderful time of the year....</div>
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For some of us this is the most <i>stressful</i> time of the year. It's the time of the year when our self-care routines are put on the shelf right next to the "Elf on the shelf". Whether it's a conscious choice or a product of "not enough time" It is a CHOICE. </div>
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With the "holiday season" barreling around the corner I made a choice. I'm choosing to make self-care a priority. What will you choose during this "most wonderful time of the year"? I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that when I hold onto my self-care routine I can move through life with more Grace and Ease. </div>
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Hold your horses, I mean reindeer, Santa! </div>
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All I want for Christmas this year is:</div>
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<i>The serenity to accept the things I cannot change</i></div>
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<i>The courage to change the things I can</i></div>
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<i>The wisdom to know the difference</i></div>
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I realize that you may have your own self-care routine. Some of you may actually enjoy this time of the year. I'm not here to add to your to do list. I'm here to remind you that you matter. I'm here to give you permission to say "NO" to the things you do only out of obligation. If making 8,000. cookies makes you happy than by all means bake away. But, if like me, you struggle remember that you have a choice. </div>
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<br />My commitment to self-care includes a yoga and meditation practice. Keeping a gratitude journal helps me ward off the feelings of inadequacy that are always magnified at this time of the year. It can be hard not to get swept away with the chaos and activity of the "holiday season" but it's not impossible. Yoga and Meditation have been my saving Grace. When I stay focused on my practice I always find the energy I need to tackle the to do lists. I am better equipped to untangle the Christmas lights and my emotions. When I'm firmly grounded in my true nature I have the wisdom to know where to spend not only money but also my energy. </div>
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For the next few weeks I'll be focusing of self-care and cultivating an attitude of gratitude in my yoga classes. I hope to see you on the mat. Saturday 10am and Sunday 8am at Yoga on Main!! </div>
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Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-8202563039148028002018-08-30T19:07:00.004-04:002018-08-30T19:07:51.568-04:00The swami laughedIn my never ending search for "enlightenment" I have had many interesting adventures. Once, I went with my friend Cristina to a meditation group at some random person's house which neither of us knew. Turned out that it was a Buddhist prayer group. Another time I found myself in a small room over a motorcycle shop which said "meditation" on the door. When I walked in a man was there with his back to me. I took off my shoes and waited for him to greet me. That time I awkwardly backed out of the room forgetting my shoes. Oh, and then there was this time that I found myself sitting in a gorgeous backyard on the Main Line where I listened to a swami give a talk about making time for God in your life. That adventure gave me some really powerful insights and advice that I still go back to often. <div>
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This morning I was thinking about the time I went to the mind, body, spirit expo. It was a long time ago. The large room was filled with all sorts of "new age" gurus claiming to heal my mind, body and spirit. It felt a lot like a new age circus. There was someone claiming to correct your vision if you wore these strange glasses and another vendor selling these copper contraptions with crystals on them that you put on your head (I have no idea what that was suppose to heal). There was a lady that was taking pictures of your aura with a Polaroid! Table after table of merchandise for sale. Everything from flavored oxygen to yoga-kickboxing DVDs were just waiting for us lost souls to open our wallets. </div>
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As I wandered around the noisy room I noticed a man sitting alone at a table. The only other thing on the table, besides his folded hands, was a bowl. It was an ordinary bowl sitting in front of an ordinary man. I was curious about what was in the bowl and what the quiet man was doing in this circus. He didn't seem to care much about whether or not anyone would come to his table. No one did.... expect me. </div>
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I walked over and said hello expecting that he would begin his sales pitch. He didn't. I asked "what's in the bowl?". He didn't care much for answering questions. "put your hand in it and feel what's in it." My curiosity was stronger then my sense of caution so I put my hand in the bowl. Do you want to guess what was in it? A mixture of grains, seeds, and corn. The kind that you might feed to birds. "what do you feel?" he asked. I don't remember my answer but thinking back now I'm guessing it was the wrong one because he didn't say much else except that he told me to take a handful and share a little bit of the mixture with random people. I still remember my co-worker, Ellen's reaction. Needless to say that it didn't change her mind about the fact that she thinks I'm nuts! </div>
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I have no idea why I was thinking about the expo experience this morning. Perhaps it's because it feels like my life is a circus right now. I'm a clown juggling hoops of fire while standing on the back of a lion and trying to sell peanuts to pay the mortgage at the same time. Or maybe it's because my mind, body, and spirit are needing some quiet time. </div>
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The Main Line swami said "If you have time to tweet, you have to meditate!". It makes me giggle every time I think about a swami that lives in a cave in the Himalayas talking about tweeting. Truth be told I think that's when I learned what tweeting even was! </div>
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Anyway. adventures in yoga-land are so fun and amusing and sometimes a bit scary but the real adventures takes place in the still, quiet space of meditation. </div>
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I just remembered about the swami that came to yoga-land and gave a talk. I was sure he was going to give us the ancient yogic secrets to reach enlightenment! That time.... he laughed and laughed.... "all these practices you all do to reach enlightenment are just ONE GREAT BIG U TURN BACK TO YOU!!" and he laughed and laughed while I scratched my head. </div>
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The moral of the story is that what you seek cannot be found externally. Not at the table of the expo vendors, not in a Main Line backyard, not in a small room above the motorcycle shop. Meditation is the U turn that takes you back to your true nature which is ultimately the only place you'll find what your mind, body, and spirit need to heal. </div>
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Om Namaha Shivaya. </div>
Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-73126090206333754662018-08-08T18:26:00.000-04:002018-08-08T18:25:59.949-04:00A hawk's message All of a sudden, I find myself in a situation that I really thought I'd finally broken free of. What the hell just happened? Who hit the rewind button?? I'm dizzy from the sudden plunge back into the <div>
bat-shit crazy that I thought was behind me. For just a split second I lose my footing and slip back into fear. </div>
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I re-group; catch my breath; forward is the only option. </div>
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It always shocks me how quickly fear takes hold. Like a noose around my neck making it hard to breath. From fear comes worry. I start to pace the floor. My mind is racing. Why? Why is this happening again? I did all the right things to prevent this. I took the necessary steps to move forward. Why am I back here? </div>
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From worry comes self-doubt. Maybe I made a mistake. Maybe there's still more to learn from this experience. Maybe there's still karma I need to work out. Maybe I'm just meant to suffer. Maybe a calm, peaceful existence isn't in the cards for me. Maybe this is my penance for deeds done in a previous lifetime. </div>
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I re-group; catch my breath; forward is the only option. </div>
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The other day I was stopped at a light and noticed right above my windshield on a wire was a huge hawk. He's beautiful and just sitting looking back at me. He didn't fly away. I wondered why he was sitting there when he could be flying some other place more beautiful than this busy little road. Later that night my son told me he also saw the hawk. </div>
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While I was re-grouping and catching my breath I started to think about the hawk's message. Whenever I see these beautiful creatures I take it as a reminder to try to look at things from a higher perspective. To clear my mind I decided that since the universe hit the rewind button I'd follow her lead and do the same. I went to Shiva Das' yoga class. </div>
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Shiva Das was telling the class about the upcoming yoga teacher training program. I thought back to when I signed up for the program more than 10 years ago. I was a totally different person. I can say that without a doubt the program changed the course of my life completely. </div>
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After class I slept soundly for the first time in days. I woke up this morning with the higher perspective I was searching for. Perhaps, the sudden plunge into the bat-shit crazy was the universe showing me just how far I've come. </div>
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Maybe, just maybe, it was not about me doing anything wrong or needing to learn more but an opportunity to recognize how much stronger I am now. The higher perspective I've been contemplating all day is that this experience was a clear reminder that I am NOT the same person I was 10 years ago. I can see more clearly now. I know who I am now. With the solid ground of sadhana beneath my feet I may lose my footing for a split second but I won't fall over the edge. </div>
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I re-grouped; caught my breath; found my footing again.... forward is the only option and forward looks really beautiful from this higher perspective.</div>
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Thank you Shiva Das and thank you beautiful hawk for the reminder! When bat-shit crazy comes to visit you don't have to invite it to dinner. </div>
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Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-60424125802703524812018-06-17T13:41:00.000-04:002018-06-17T13:41:07.957-04:00Emotions are inconvenient Yesterday a yoga student shared with me the devastating news that her son had died suddenly. As I hugged her I could feel my heart breaking for her. She was living every mother's worst fear. I didn't know how to respond when she said "I don't know how to go on..."<br />
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A few weeks ago my own daughter experienced a life threatening event as a result of complications in childbirth. One minutes we are in Kutztown celebrating my daughter's graduation from college and next I'm sitting in the emergency room at 1am with my son. He had emergency surgery to remove his appendix. I no sooner got him home and settled and I'm back at the ER with my oldest. During the days leading up to and following the birth of my granddaughter I was running back and forth between the hospital with Amanda and home to check on Jake as he recovered from surgery.<br />
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The past month of working, teaching yoga, taking care of household chores while tending to the needs of my family has required all of my energy. There wasn't time or energy to process the emotional roller coaster that I was riding. There was work to be done and I couldn't afford to spend the energy on dealing with my feelings. Emotions are so inconvenience when there's so much work to be done.<br />
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As I sat in front of my yoga class yesterday morning I couldn't contain my emotions. I was flooded with sadness and grief and anger at the unfairness of life. I could feel the mother's grief and pain as if it were my own. In that moment the fear I felt about my own children washed over me. The emotions were so inconvenient. There was a class to teach. <br />
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I was embarrassed that I wasn't able to control my emotions. I felt embarrassed that I was crying. I've gotten used to occasionally crying while practicing yoga but crying while teaching yoga was not appropriate. I'm suppose to be able to control my emotions. God forbid I inconvenience others with my feelings. <br />
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In the words of my very wise teacher, Ed <i>"Emotions are reflexes of the mind. When you pull your hand away from a hot surface you don't say you're smart." </i> So why am I so uncomfortable with emotions? Why was I embarrassed about the fact that when someone shared their pain I could feel their pain in my own heart? I cried for a long time for the mother who lost her son. I cried for a long time for all the mothers that have experienced that pain. I cried for all time for all the pain and suffering in the world. I cried to release the emotions that I had been so carefully guarding for the past month so as not to inconvenience anyone with my emotions.<br />
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Emotions are inconvenient but they also remind us that we are human. The fact that I feel so deeply the pain of others means that I have a heart. It means that I can recognize our shared humanity. It helps me to see myself in the other person's shoes which makes me a more compassionate person. What reason do I have to feel embarrassed by my empathy for others? It seems to me that I have uncovered another false belief that I am ready to release. Emotions are not a sign of weakness. <br />
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The fact that I feel pain so deeply means that I also have the capacity to feel joy just as deeply.<br />
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I left class yesterday and went home. My son has recovered from surgery and he's back to being his normal, bratty, teenage self. My daughter and granddaughter are doing well and I'm enjoying sharing the role of Nonna with my own mother as we care for our sweet baby Ella. It's finally time to plan a party to celebrate Tayler's accomplishment of finishing college. Even with my heart filled with joy there's still room to hold space for the suffering of others. Even with my heart filled with suffering there's still room to hold space for joy. <br />
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Emotions are inconvenient but I'd rather feel too much than nothing at all. <br />
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<br />Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-69073158543836352822018-04-08T22:02:00.000-04:002018-04-08T22:02:50.569-04:00The lady in the purple glovesToday we said farewell to the lady in the purple gloves. What a beautiful tribute to a remarkable lady. Her daughter wearing a red dress made me smile. Earlier today I was sharing a story about MJ with my yoga class. One day MJ came to yoga wearing beautiful purple gloves. When I remarked about how beautiful they were she replied "I'm an old woman now so I can wear purple". <i><b>You see, only old women can wear purple gloves and a red hat that didn't go.... </b></i><div>
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I was thinking about all the thoughtful little trinkets MJ would bring me when she came for yoga. The little angel medal, the prayer card from her pilgrimage to the Camino de Santiago, the little purple lump of clay with a smiley face, the mala bracelet, just to name a few. I thought about bringing some of the trinkets to give to her great-grandchildren. Instead, when I arrived at the service, her children had set up "Granny's flea market" so that everyone who came to pay their respects could take a memento. </div>
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The first thing I notice was a poem in a frame titled " <b><i>When I'm an old woman</i></b>". It starts <i><b>"I shall wear purple with a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me...."</b></i> MJ told me "Honey, don't wait till you're old... wear purple and red!" </div>
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As I sat along the Wissahickon creek listening to her children honoring their mother I notice MJ's sweet little great-grand daughter wearing purple gloves. I had the pleasure of meeting some of MJ's family when she brought them to yoga class with her. What fun we had together when the little ones came to yoga with Granny! One of Mary Joan's daughter's spoke about some of the lessons they learned from their mother. On the drive home afterwards I was thinking about what lessons I had learned from MJ. </div>
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* Life is too short to follow the rules. Wear purple and red, silly socks and dye your hair pink!</div>
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* Family over everything and everyone is family.</div>
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* You're never too old for an adventure. </div>
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* Thoughtfulness and kindness matter. </div>
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* Fear steals joy. </div>
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* It's hard to surrender and allow our children to take on some of our roles but it will happen anyway.</div>
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MJ was always looking for the lesson is whatever was troubling her. I so admired her willingness to see each challenge as an opportunity to learn something. She was always listening for the message from the Universe. I oftentimes wanted to tell her that maybe the lesson is that sometimes life just sucks! I was less willing to see each challenge as a lesson... </div>
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Here's the thing, life does just suck sometimes but other times it's beautiful and breathtaking and spectacular. Mary Joan's celebration of life was beautiful. It was as thoughtful as MJ herself. Perhaps the most profound lesson I learned from the lady in the purple gloves is that at the end of the day all that really matters is how much we have loved. </div>
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The lady in the purple gloves taught me that a mother's love teaches her children what love is. That is the greatest lesson of all. </div>
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Farewell my friend... </div>
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Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-12329768253406539882017-10-20T23:45:00.000-04:002017-10-20T23:56:12.187-04:00Words, words, everywhere!!Tonight at dinner my daughter asked me why I haven't been posting anymore. "You should start posting again, I liked reading it." she said. So... Here you go, Tayler.<br />
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In January, I decided that this blog had come to an end. I felt like there are so many people in yoga-land speaking so many words that it seemed pointless for me to add to the whirlwind of words.<br />
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I'm still not sure I have anything worthwhile to say that others haven't already said more eloquently than I but Tayler's words inspired me.<br />
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Words have power. The way we use our words matters. Interestingly, I've been learning about the power of words by keeping quiet. Silence speaks volumes. It's the act of listening that teaches us the power of words. I feel the power of them in my gut. I've been using my ears as filters. I have the power to choose which words I take in and digest and which words I let just pass right on through.<br />
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In yoga-land, we use mantras. Mantras are sound vibrations that have specific energetic effects.<br />
We have thousands of years of evidence to support the effect of mantra meditation. Chanting the names of God brings you into a stream of consciousness that washes away your worries. The effect is powerful and undeniable.<br />
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But...<br />
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Have you considered the energetic effects of the words you use all day long? I work in a busy office. I talk to people for 8 full hours a day. Some days, by 5pm I'm sick of the sound of my own voice. I've expended so much prana and yet I wonder if anything I said was of any value at all. Do me words improve the silence?<br />
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It's in the silence that God speaks to us. How much time do you spend in silence? What does it feel like? <br />
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Sometimes, like tonight, someone inspires us with their words. Other times, the sharp, piercing nature of someone's words make us contract.<br />
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I used to take everything so personally. I wore my feelings on my sleeve. Every harsh word would feel like a knife in my heart. When I'm present and aware, the harsh words or criticism from others do not hold the same power. I'm certainly aware of the abrasiveness but it doesn't feel quite so personal. I rely on my internal filters to discern what to digest and what to release.<br />
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I spent many years in a relationship where words were used as a weapon. By contrast, over the last couple of years, I've felt the "armor" start to melt away. I no longer live with daily verbal attacks. I no longer need to keep my heart guarded.<br />
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Which means....<br />
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I find myself unprepared and vulnerable to harsh words. The abrasiveness of words feel a little sharper now, without the armor around my heart. I need to remind myself not to take them personal. When I'm in the present moment, I can recognize the suffering of the person speaking sharp words.<br />
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I'm grateful...<br />
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The Goddess, Saraswati's gift is the gift of sound. She gives the gift of sound and the gift of discernment. Interesting, don't you think? She gives us sound and discernment. Through her power of discernment we can choose our words. Through her power of discernment we know what to digest and use as fuel for growth and what to release as "waste". Through her power of discernment we can choose when to speak and when to listen. Do your words improve upon the silence?<br />
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Saraswati, brings order to chaos. How does she do that? Through knowledge. How do we learn? Through listening. When we speak we are showing others what we "know". When we listen, we open ourselves up to receive the gift of knowledge. <br />
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What I know for sure.....<br />
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Words have the power to inspire or crush the spirit. As I close my eyes tonight this I pray:<br />
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Goddess,<br />
Grant me the strength to speak my truth with integrity and grace.<br />
Grant me the wisdom to know when to speak and when to leave words unspoken.<br />
Bless me with the power of discernment so that I may know what words serve a higher purpose and when they serve the ego.<br />
May my words, be your words.<br />
May my hands be your hands<br />
May my life be an instrument of your Divine will.<br />
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And remember: "You don't have to say everything you know."<br />
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<br />Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7290020421715506030.post-67539629652876836572016-12-18T20:48:00.000-05:002016-12-18T20:48:38.099-05:00Reflections<div style="text-align: center;">
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<i><b>“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, </b></i></div>
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<i><b>because her trust is not on the branch but on her own wings.</b></i></div>
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<i><b>Always believe in yourself” – Unknown</b></i></div>
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Maybe it's seeing Facebook's "Year in review" posts or maybe it's that the New Year is fast approaching but I find myself spending a lot of time reflecting. This morning the above quote came to mind. "wings were made to fly" I kept thinking. </div>
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2016 was a rough year</div>
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<i>It's also the year I learned to fly</i></div>
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2016 was the year I got divorced</div>
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<i>It's also the year I took my life back</i></div>
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2016 was the year of endings</div>
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<i>It's also the year of new beginnings</i></div>
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2016 was the year of hard lessons about friendship</div>
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<i>It's also the year I learned to be my own best friend</i></div>
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2016 was the year of sadness</div>
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<i>It's also the year I learned that I'm no longer afraid of the dark</i></div>
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2016 was the year of struggles</div>
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<i>It's also the year I learned how strong I am </i></div>
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2016 was the year of financial challenges</div>
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<i>It's also the year I learned what I value most</i></div>
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2016 was the year when things fell apart</div>
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<i>It's also the year I learned how to build </i></div>
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2016 was the year of much disappointment </div>
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<i>It's also the year I learned to see beauty in imperfection</i></div>
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2016 was the year I was blindsided and knocked off my center</div>
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but </div>
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<i>It's also the year I learned to fly</i></div>
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2016 was the year the branch broke </div>
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but </div>
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<i>It's also the year I learned to put my trust in myself and not the branch</i></div>
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Moon light reflections of a spiritual seeker http://www.blogger.com/profile/10599953574881338053noreply@blogger.com0