The student is ready.....

I haven't taken a regular group yoga class in well over a year. I spent a lot of time being sad about the loss of my support system but then I was over it. Until this morning. I woke up today feeling the loss again. It's so weird how emotions sort of sneak up on you sometimes.

Although I've had a personal practice for many years, my regular yoga class always supported my personal practice. Up until about a year and half ago I attended at least 2 classes a week for the better part of 19 years. It was a huge part of my life to say the least.

The past year and half has been very challenging for me not only as a yoga student but also as a yoga teacher. There have been moments when I felt completely dis-enchanted with yoga. I've come to realize that what I'm disenchanted with is modern day, Americanized yoga. What I'm mourning, is the loss of the support system, the sense of community and the inspiration that I found in having a teacher.

I have given up hope that my teacher will come to his senses and return to his post as my teacher. I accepted the fact that the universe was giving me an opportunity to see that I can stand on my own two feet. My home practice is the real support system and is the place where I am most connected to the source of inspiration. I can honestly say that is true.

But today....I'm missing the rest of it.

Sharing my passion for yoga with others is almost as rewarding as my role as a mother. There's no doubt that in my work as a yoga teacher I feel the Grace of the Divine working through me. It's my role as a student of yoga that keeps the channel open to receive the flow of God's Grace.

Today, it's the student that is longing for nourishment.

The business of yoga

I've been thinking a lot about this business of being a yogi in modern times. There are unique challenges that we face today. For example, how do you promote yourself as a teacher and get students in the class without inflating your ego?

You prepare the lesson plan for the class/workshop, you select the perfect music to accompany your sequence, you light the candles and make the room inviting and then.... No one shows up. There's no doubt that it's disappointing. How do you let go of the expections and practice acceptance then?

It's a strange new world we're living in. Yoga on facebook is the perfect example. Yes, I do see the irony here as most of you are reading this post from my facebook link. Are you promoting your yoga business or inflating your ego when you post hundreds of pictures of yourself "doing yoga"? Is yoga something you do or is it a state of being?

The thought that keeps coming back to me is that yoga is not suppose to be a business. It was never intended to be a way to make a living. In there lies the problem (in my humble opinion).

Don't get me wrong; I daydream about quitting my day job and teaching yoga full time too. I dare you to find a yoga teacher who hasn't. Unfortunately, as I see it, if I had to depend on yoga teaching to pay my mortgage I would have to have a different approach to self-promotion. I would have no choice but to engage my ego more.

I appreciate the fact that some folks have chosen to walk this fine line of teaching yoga to make a living and living the yoga lifestyle. My feeling is that if we can all remember that living our yoga is the foundation we will have a better chance at growing the yoga business. The first lesson in yoga teacher training is only teach what you know. It saddens me to see how many teachers teach material that they haven't thoroughly studied and applied in their own lives.

On the flip side of that is that yoga teacher training programs should require students take continuing education classes on the topic of ethics in yoga. You would think that most of it is common sense stuff but my experience has been that reminders are needed.

Back to Facebook, if your friends are also yoga teachers is it appropriate to promote yourself on their facebook page? When all your friends are also yoga teachers how do you deal with envy among your peers? What if you are offered a teaching position that would pay you double what you make teaching other classes but you're asked to teach something you don't know intimately? Do you fake it? And if so, is that really teaching yoga? How do you build self-confidence without becoming self-absorbed?

It seems to me that the scales have been tipped and we now have more teachers than students. That's because there's this misconception that once you've completed a 200hr yoga teacher training program you suddenly become a teacher and you forget that you are still a student. The real learning begins after graduation. The learning up till that point has only been superficial. It's up to the student to deepen their study of yoga by actually practicing what was learned.

The need for real teachers is stronger than ever. A true teacher would hold the pin that would pop our inflated ego when it's getting out of control. A true teacher would offer us an example of right living. A true teacher would hold the light for us when we are lost in the dark.

Om Shri Gurubhyo Namaha!!

The sun will come out tomorrow...

It's been challenging to find the time to post regularly. In addition to the regular craziness of my life I'm currently in the middle of a year long Ayurveda Lifestyle consoler program. I'm loving every minute of the course and wish that I had more time to devote to it. I honestly feel like the information is life changing. Hopefully once I earn my certificate I'll be sharing more about Ayurveda but for now I have something else I'd like to talk about.

There's 2 things rattling around in my brain that are most pressing. Let's see if I can combine them into something that makes sense.....

Last week-end I had the privilege of offering a workshop on the moon salutation. Afterwards, I felt like I wasn't clear enough about the idea of setting intentions. What I want to say is that setting an intention isn't simply setting it and forgetting about it. When we make the commitment to do a 30 or 40 day sadhana we are committing to actively working on the intention we set for ourselves.

Let's say that our intention is to not get stuck in our emotions. The intention is set, planting the seeds for what we want to grow, then each day when we do our sadhana (spiritual practice) we reaffirm the intention. As we go about the business of our lives we water the seeds of our intention by being conscious and noticing when a strong emotion comes up. With the intention fresh in our mind from our morning practice we can chose to either let ourselves get stuck in our emotions or we can chose to recognize how fleeting they are and let them go.

Each time we make the conscious choice to reaffirm our intention by our actions we are feeding the seeds and our intention gets stronger. The stronger our little seedlings get, the more beautifully they will flower. Like our gardens, the seeds we plant with our intentions need to be tended to in order for them to bear fruit.

The example I used of not getting stuck in our emotions is the second thing I wanted to talk about. A classmate of my daughter's killed himself last week. It breaks my heart to think that this young boy felt such despair that killing himself was the only solution he could think of. How sad that he couldn't see past his current state of emotions to the fact that he had his whole life filled with endless possibilities ahead of him.

No matter how desperate our situation seems in any given moment we must remember that it's temporary. I'm remembering the story of the little hungry caterpillar. "Just when the little caterpillar thought his life was over he turned into a beautiful butterfly."

This tragic event reaffirms for me my intention of fostering community. No one should ever feel so alone and desperate that suicide seems like the only option. Asking for support is not a sign of weakness... in fact it takes great strength and courage. It's also important that we pay attention and be present in our interactions with others. Maybe the text message asking if you want to go grab a beer is actually someone reaching out for support. Don't be too busy to offer some support, even if it's only a quick phone call.

So when you are planting your seeds of intention be sure to plant seeds which will bear fruit that can be used to feed and nourish others as well as yourself.

Om Shanti Om!

Durga Ma give me strength.....

"All that evil needs to succeed is for good people to stand by and do nothing"

The last few weeks have been particularly intense. There has been a tremendous amount of harshness. I've hesitated writing because my emotions have been pretty raw and I have been accused of being hurtful and unloving at times when I speak my mind. I've been questioning the value of speaking my mind.

After much self-reflection, and examining the role of my ego in regards to recent events, I can honestly say that my motivation for calling people out on their appalling behavior is coming from a genuine desire to protect people from getting hurt.

Over and over I'm told that I need to be accepting and forgiving of others. Over and over I'm told that love is the only answer. Durga's love is the answer we need right now. Durga is a fierce warrior Goddess. She is also fiercely protective. I very much feel that intense Durga energy.

"All that evil needs to succeed is for good people to stand by and do nothing."

Admittedly, I'm no expert in Hindu mythology but I have read and heard many stories over the years. The stories tell us how the Gods and Goddesses had to stand up and fight the righteous fight and destroy the demons that were terrorizing the people.

My fear is that the good people have this misconception that they must learn to love and accept evil. 

Here's the thing.  At least as I see it.

Whether we want to accept it or not, some people are evil.  There are people in this world that want to do harm to others.  Yes, I do believe that God is in everyone and yes, I do believe everyone needs love.  However, that doesn't mean that good people need to invite evil into our homes.  That sure as hell doesn't mean that we should give evil any position of authority or leadership.

Good people need to engage their inner Durga Ma and stand up and fight for those who are unable or unwilling to fight for themselves.   A long time ago, a teacher told me that Durga creates a protective shield around you and fights for you until you are strong enough to stand up for yourself and fight the righteous fight along side of her.

I have a strong connection to Durga Ma....I'm ready to stand alongside of her to protect the people I love and care about.  I used to worry that my fierce protective nature goes against the teachings of yoga but then I remembered a quote that David Newman shared with our ytt class...

"You can kick someone out of your home, just not out of your heart"

I can still feel compassion for the evil people as they clearly don't see their own Divinity but that doesn't mean I want to invite them to lunch and that doesn't mean I'm going to stand by and watch them bully and terrorize people.  Doing nothing is no longer an option.  Recoginze that by our inaction we are playing a part in the success of the evil people's actions.  



Om Hrim Shrim Dum Durgayai Namaha!!!

Real Yoga

Tapas - intentional self-discipline

Svadhaya - self-study, self-inquiry

Isvaraprandihana - Surrender to God

In my humble opinion, the above 3 practices are essential  for serious yoga practitioners. I'd like to explore these ideas with you.  Please share your thoughts by commenting.  I'd like to hear what you have to say.

Let's start with Tapas:

Tapas means to burn.  It refers to the disciplines and austerities used to create heat required for transformation.  Here's the thing, ttransformation on the surface level is really pretty easy. All that's required is some new clothes, new name and new circle of friends and WaLa! You are transformed. (Rent the movie Kumare....and you'll understand what I mean). I see a lot of this sort of transformation. Yes, it is technically transformation and I've been told that it serves the person in some way. Perhaps for some, "fake it till you make it" works.  Does fake bliss feel the same as real bliss? I doubt it.

A while back I did some research on women in yoga. What I found was that a lot of popular, modern "yoginis" actually had a hard time with discipline. They found the disciplines their teachers gave them to do too hard, so they changed the disciplines, left their teachers and started their own yoga style that suited them better. Is it discipline if you change it to make it easier for yourself? I came face to face with this challenge this week. I am in the middle of a 40 day moon salutation sadhana. My intentional self-discipline is to do 11 rounds of Chandra Namaskar each day followed by 108 mantras to the moon. I'm doing great the first week or 10 days but then my knee started bothering me. I could very easily use that as an excuse not to practice. I did toy with the idea, telling myself that "I'm honoring my body" by not doing it. Would it still be tapas if I use the excuse of a little discomfort to derail my intention? I doubt it. 

Svadhaya:

Think about how people use the ancient yogic principles to justify their bad behavior. For example, when using the concept of practicing acceptance to justify avoiding the difficult task of changing something that needs to change. Using the idea of surrender and karma to avoid taking responsibility for our own circumstances in life. The truth is that what we need to surrender are the excuses we tell ourselves about why we have the difficulties we have in our lives. Then there would be a chance for real transformation.

The truth of the matter is that when you begin the practice of Svadhaya you will, without a doubt, uncover issues that you will be required to address. That is, if you're interested in transformation on a deeper level.

You will find out things about yourself that you may not like to admit. One of my biggest revelations and challenges has been attachment. My attachment to people and my attachment to my own beliefs and opinions. I could call my attachment to people and my beliefs loyalty and devotion. But is attachment the same as loyalty and devotion? I doubt it.

Ishvarapranidhana:

Do what you do in service to God. Offering all your tapas to the greater good of all. Here's where it all comes together.... at least for me. I ask myself, and you, what is your motivation for doing what you do?

Why are you doing the disciplines? What transformation are you seeking? These questions can be answered through self-inquiry(svadhaya). The serious yoga practitioner is willing to ask herself/himself the hard questions and will answer honestly. 

Am I doing the disciplines because I'm seeking the approval and recognition of my teachers and peers or for God?

Is the transformation that I seek superficial, simply to fit in with the popular crowd or am I ready for the hard, dirty work of releasing the fantasy world we have created in our own mind to discover who we really are?

What transformation are YOU seeking and are you willing to do the work required to achieve it?  Are you ready to surrender yourself to the will of the Divine?

The lotus of the heart

Anahata chakra..... The heart center. 

Anahata means un-struck

It’s color is green

Symbolized by lotus flower with 12 petals

Element is Air

Located at the center of the chest

Sense of Touch

Bija mantra: Yam

This center is for unconditional love for the self, and others, compassion, passion, and devotion. When fully open it becomes a channel for Universal Love

When balanced, a person feels joy, peace, harmony, happiness, forgiveness, acceptance, compassion, and generosity

When unbalanced, fear, anger, isolation and unworthiness. Unsympathetic, self-centered, selfish, unforgiving.

"The heart chakra is the bridge between our humanity and our divinity" ~SD

In the sacred circle today a wise woman shared some very powerful sentiments with regard to the heart chakra.   I share with you here the message my heart received from her words.

Never fear that you are unloved....for the love of the Divine Mother is unconditional and ever present in our lives. 

Imagine the most beautiful flower you have ever seen.  The only way the flower can successfully open to it's fullest expression is if it has strong roots and a strong stem.  The heart chakra is that beautiful flower.  In order for it to bloom in it's full beauty it needs strong roots (groundedness and a sense of security - 1st chakra) and a strong stem (a strong, functional relationship with the Self  as well as others. That includes self-love - 2nd chakra). 

The deep longing for love and connection that we feel in our hearts should be turned towards God. Like the flower turns it's face to the sun.

I am eternally grateful to this practice of yoga and to the teachers who lovingly guide me along the way. It is what strengths me and gives me a sense of groundedness and security.  It is the practice that feeds me and opens, not only my heart, but my connection to the Divine.  When the connection to God is strong,  the knot in our heart dissolves and we can truly be a channel for Universal love.

 

Temper tantrum ahead... proceed with caution!!

One thing I know for sure is that I have no patience for yoga babble.  I was trying to think of way to say what I need to say in some flowery, fluffy way so that it won't come across so harsh.  Sorry... I can't come up with any yoga babble so here's my disclaimer:

You may not like what I have to say but that doesn't mean you don't need to hear it.  If you get offended easy... stop reading now.  If you're interested in getting to the heart of the matter.... keep reading.  The choice is yours.  I will try to say this as nicely as I know how.

It's time to wake up people!!  It's time to take off your malas and your fancy yoga pants and get down to the business of actually being a yogi!!!  Get off your meditation cushion and get your hands dirty in the world!!!  PAY ATTENTION TO THE YOGIC TEACHINGS!!  THEY APPLY TO YOU TOO!!

Yea, you... drinking your coconut water while your neighbor is dying of thirst.   You, who are busy counting mantras on your $108. malas while your friend is crying for help.   While you're practicing holding head stand for 20 minutes, there's a child who needs a mentor. 

All the talk of love and light and enlightenment has blinded us!!  The world will not be saved by meditation alone.   We must all be willing to get off our asses and WORK!!   Remember that??  There is real work to be done in this world if there's any hope of a future for our children. 

We cannot all renounce the world and sit in our air conditioned yoga room pretending that all is right with the world as long as we talk about contentment and acceptance.  Have any of you read the Bhagavad Gita??  Didn't Krishna talk about doing your duty?  I think so.   What is your duty?  Do you even know?

I'm no expert in spiritual matters but I do believe I remember 200hr yoga teacher training.  I remember some mention of karma yoga.  Remember Karma yoga?  The path of self-less service??  Not everyone is suppose to be a guru or priest!!  Some of us are suppose to be in the trenches, so to speak.  Who is the better yogi??  MY ANSWER.....THE ONE DOING HIS/HER OWN DUTY JOYFULLY.  Whether it's being the guru or being the one taking care of the day to day needs of the masses. 

Why is it that people in yoga-land are willing to travel to the other side of the globe to offer their self-less service but won't stop what they are doing to drive (in their air conditioned car) a few blocks to help a friend who is stranded in the streets for hours in 100 degree heat??????  

I know this won't make me very popular in yoga-land but hell... I've never  been in with the popular crowd anyway why worry about it at this point in my life?  The people closest to me know that I take my responsibilities very serious and that means my commitment to karma yoga.  

THIS IS A CALL TO ACTION....LOOK AROUND YOU... SEE WHAT WORK NEEDS TO BE DONE AND JUST DO IT!!!  EVEN IF NO-ONE IS LOOKING!!!!  Then you can call yourself a karma yogi.