I haven't taken a regular group yoga class in well over a year. I spent a lot of time being sad about the loss of my support system but then I was over it. Until this morning. I woke up today feeling the loss again. It's so weird how emotions sort of sneak up on you sometimes.
Although I've had a personal practice for many years, my regular yoga class always supported my personal practice. Up until about a year and half ago I attended at least 2 classes a week for the better part of 19 years. It was a huge part of my life to say the least.
The past year and half has been very challenging for me not only as a yoga student but also as a yoga teacher. There have been moments when I felt completely dis-enchanted with yoga. I've come to realize that what I'm disenchanted with is modern day, Americanized yoga. What I'm mourning, is the loss of the support system, the sense of community and the inspiration that I found in having a teacher.
I have given up hope that my teacher will come to his senses and return to his post as my teacher. I accepted the fact that the universe was giving me an opportunity to see that I can stand on my own two feet. My home practice is the real support system and is the place where I am most connected to the source of inspiration. I can honestly say that is true.
But today....I'm missing the rest of it.
Sharing my passion for yoga with others is almost as rewarding as my role as a mother. There's no doubt that in my work as a yoga teacher I feel the Grace of the Divine working through me. It's my role as a student of yoga that keeps the channel open to receive the flow of God's Grace.
Today, it's the student that is longing for nourishment.