This is not what I imagined

Wow!  It's been so long since I posted that I forgot my password!  It's been a whirlwind year for me. My life has been turned inside out and upside down.  Good, bad and ugly and everything in between could be used to describe my adventures in this game we call life.  I feel like I've walked through the fires of hell and at the same time I have felt a tremendous sense of freedom.   Life is so strange.

Perhaps it's the effects of Mercury retrograde but tonight I find myself reviewing all the changes that have happened this past year.  I'm remembering moments of deep despair when I felt like the world was coming to an end.  I'm remembering moments of lightness when I felt like my heart would burst with joy.  "I never imagined my life would be like this." I would repeat over and over.   This is not how I planned things.  That's when I remember all those mornings sitting in front of the alter.  That's when I remember offering my life in service to God.   "Not my will but thy will be done" was my mantra for years.  Seated at the Divine Mother's feet I would pray, "let my hands be your hands, let my words be your words, let me life be your instrument."

Through all the chaos and confusion, through all the laughter and joy, through all the fear and worry, and through moments of pure bliss, the common thread that was pulling me through life was the Divine Mother.  Just as a child is comforted in her mother's embrace I too was comforted when I remembered the love of the Divine Mother.  In  fear I tried to remember Her,  In joy I tried to remember Her. My life is not at all what I had imagined it would be yet I feel an incredible sense of gratitude.

During a perfectly ordinary moment today I realized that my morning prayer was heard.  My life is not at all what I imagined it to be.  How could it be?  How could I ever imagine what God had in store for me?   During a perfectly ordinary moment today I felt the comfort of Ma's embrace.  From the outside the past year seems tragic, and chaotic and messy.  From the inside, when I could rest in the knowledge that I am ever in Ma's embrace, it was fluid and beautiful.

"Remember, always, there is an Intelligence which
pervades all of nature, and It knows best how to work.
It even knows what is best for us.  We do the best we
can to prepare ourselves for the reception of God's Grace,
and then
We relax, firm in the assurance that all is well."
~ Roy Eugene Davis


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