The people in the grocery store would get a kick out him. Some would joke with him, others would just smile, remembering perhaps their own little ones. There were some that shook their heads at me for allowing him to go out in the Halloween costume in the middle of July. He's my third child so I was way more relaxed about things. I learned to choose my battles. I also learned that natural consequence was the best teacher.
One day, he simply stopped wearing the costume. I didn't have to sit him down and explain to him that his attachment to being Spider man was unhealthy or that he was growing up and it was no longer appropriate. The phase came to its natural end and he moved on to the next phase.
The costumes we wear as adults are the labels we put on ourselves and others. I'm discovering that sometimes we outgrow the labels but we still squeeze ourselves into them. We identify completely with the roles we have chosen to play long after the story has come to an end. It seems to me that the trouble comes when we are 43 and still trying to wear the size 3T Spider man costume. Why does there need to be a struggle or an intervention when we have outgrown the costume? Why is it so traumatic for us to take off the labels that no longer serve us? My guess is that its traumatic because we have forgotten that its only a costume and not really who we are.
In the grown up world we all put on costumes from time to time. I wear an insurance agent costume from 8:00am - 4:30pm. Then I change into my super mom costume. Sometime I wear my yoga teacher costume. As long as we are aware that each label or costume we wear serves a purpose and does not define who we are then put on the costume and go about the business of life.
Our children are our greatest teachers. Jake suffered no trauma when he outgrew the Spider man costume. When the time had come for him to take it off he simply took it off. Life is fluid. When we move through life fluidly there is less trauma. When we recognize that the labels we put on ourselves and roles we choose to play do not define us, there is less trauma when the labels and roles change. Every night when I look at the moon I remind myself.... The moon doesn't go through trauma as it waxes and wanes. Why should I fall apart as my life waxes and wanes?
I loved the baby yogi phase!
Practice mediation, Stop all vain talk, keep repeating the ancient mantram, Om until it reverberates in your heart..... OM Shanti OM!