Here's the thing....In order to make room for new and exciting things we have to get rid of the old things that are no longer useful. I know that and you know that, at least on an intellectual level. So why the hell do we resist letting go of things that no longer serve us?
We will either willingly surrender or the universe will rip it from us, painfully. Intellectually, willingly surrendering seems like the logical option. We know it's for our own good but still we resist.
Last week I was talking to a mom who was weaning her little one off the binky (pacifier). Having been through the trauma of weaning little ones myself I listened sympathetically. Remembering the sleepless nights listening to my own children crying for the security and comfort of their binky. It's a heart wrenching experience as the mother taking away your child's binky or blankie. First we encourage our babies to sooth themselves with these things. Our babies feel safe and secure when they have them. Then one day, we rip them away. We know it's for their own good but HOLY HELL it's torture!
After this conversation I began thinking about how much I relate to the situation. This time not from the perspective of the mom doing what's best for the child but from the perspective of the child. Yes... right now, I feel like a baby crying for my blankie.
It's been about six months now since my Divine Mother felt that it was time to rip my blankie away from me. I'm sure from her perspective it was for my own good. From my perspective as the baby....It sucks! First I was encouraged to use my weekly yoga class to sooth myself. There I felt safe and secure. Whenever I was feeling upset I knew that being there in class I'd find the comfort I needed. Just like when you give your crying baby her blankie or binky. With the blankie in hand the world doesn't seem quite so scary and cruel.
Seems that I'm a bigger baby than my children were. They figured out another way to self-sooth a lot quicker than me. It's been six months and I'm still searching for my lost blankie.
Like the baby, I have no choice. I have to trust that the Divine Mother has my best interest in mind. I stand before the Divine Mother with an open heart..... I surrender.... Not my will but thy will be done. Like the baby who has finally given up..... I find another way...
And so....the Zen Den is born and a new yoga adventure begins.....