Note to self

Growing up, my two sisters and I spend a lot of time with my three cousins. I am the oldest of the six. My mother tells this story about how when we were little I always wanted to play school. The story goes that I, of course, was always the teacher and had to set everything up just right before we could play. By the time I had everything set up the way they were supposed to be, the rest of the kids were bored and wanted to play something else.

This tendency has followed me into adulthood. Years ago, when I first started practicing yoga/meditation at home I remember wanting to have everything just right before I could practice. I would clean the living room where I would be practicing. I would pick up the kid's toys, dust, vacuum, etc. by the time I was ready to roll out the mat the hour was up. 15 years and 3 kids later, I've come to the realization that the only space that needs to be clear for sadhana is my own mind.

If we wait until the circumstances of our lives are just right we will never develop a spiritual practice. The point is that with consistent daily practice you will discover that our circumstances are already perfect.

I'm writing this post as a gentle reminder to myself to let go of my need to "arrange" things in my life to be the way I think they are suppose to be and to accept things just as they are. My life will never look like the life of the yogis that I read about. It's full of distractions, chaos, and responsibilities. Here's what I know for sure: anyone can meditate and find peace sitting in a cave in the Himalayas. What we ( I ) need to practice is finding peace in the midst of the chaos and challenges of our lives right now.

Every moment is the most important moment of your life. Are you living it fully or are you waiting? How does your choice feel?

Gayatri Sadhana - Day 14

After sadhana I took a yoga class with Shiva Das. What I love the most about his class is that the entire experience feels like moving meditation. The class became an extension of my sadhana today. It was truly a lovely experience.  Kapalabhati (rapid diaphragmatic breathing) was really powerful for me today. I could feel energy moving up my spine.  Balance was a challenge though. Perhaps it was because I was floating on a cloud and didn't feel like my feet were on the ground.


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