I was still carrying the stress of the day with me when I got to class. As much as I love going to class normally, last night I wasn't in the mood to be around people. I just wanted to lock myself in a dark room and stay there for 3 days. Trying to remind myself that I always feel better after yoga I dragged myself to class. I got to class a bit later than usual so I didn't get my favorite spot. Such a little thing irritated me so much that I knew I really needed yoga to get me back to a state of equanimity.
It didn't take long before I was feeling calmer. With each release breath I could feel myself softening. The stress melted away as I moved through the opening poses. During each pause I found myself repeating the Gayatri mantra in my head. Child's pose - Om bhur bhuva..... down-dog - Om bhur bhuva svaha tat savitur varenyam.... The combination of the mantra and the asana practice took me to the point of meditation. I wasn't ready for class to end. I would have liked another 30 minutes for meditation.
Reluctantly, I roll up my mat, leave the warmth of the room and the practice and walk out into the cold night air. The circumstances of my life weren't any different but somehow everything was different because my state of mind was different. I went to sleep with the Gayatri mantra repeating itself in my mind. Whenever I woke up during the night I was still aware of the mantra.
Today, I'm still feeling the effects. My body is engaged in my work but my mind is still in meditation. If I close my eyes I think I might float off into space. There is something special about an Inner Fire yoga class!
This state of peace and equanimity that I'm feeling in this moment is what keeps me coming back to the mat. If I could figure out how to hold on to this state of mind all the time I will have won the cosmic lottery!! Until then, I'll keep showing up on the mat. Walking, dragging myself, running .... I'll keep showing up on the mat to do the work until I win the cosmic jackpot - Samadhi!
Om bhur bhuvah svah
tat savitur varenyam
bhargo devasya dhimahi
dhiyo yonah prachodayat