Yoga with Mirella Nicholson

Yoga with Mirella Nicholson

Monday, October 18, 2010

Fitting in

Let's take a little stroll down memory lane shall we?  Just humor me for a second and think back to high school.   Remember how everyone fit into some "clique".    Last week-end, after watching VH1's  I love the 80's marathon I watched Sixteen Candles (and yes, Michelle I still remember every word of that movie) and I was having high school flashbacks about that feeling of not fitting in. 

I'm sure you're wondering what the heck this has to do with yoga but be patient, I'm getting to that. 

This past week-end I found myself having that very same feeling.  The feeling of not really fitting in or belonging.   Only this time I was aware of the feeling but I wasn't so much effected by it (does that make sense?)  Here I was at a place where I've grown more and more comfortable being.  A place where I really truly feel like I belong and yet this old nagging feeling of not fitting in snuck up on me.  Once I recognized this feeling I tried to step back from it and sort of analyze it. 

Okay, here's where the yoga part comes in. 

Yoga fact #1:  It's just a feeling and therefore, doesn't really need to be analyzed but rather acknowledged and released.  Well, that may be the best approach but of course I can't let things go so easily so I'll analyze it first and then try to release it.  

Yoga fact #2:  I realized standing there in that room that it wasn't so much the other people that were making me feel like an outsider but rather my own idea that "they" belonged more than me. 

Yoga fact #3:  There was a lot of ego in that room but I will venture to say that none of it had to do with me.  More likely these folks have their own insecurities they are dealing with and were so wrapped up in their own thoughts to even give me a second thought.

Yoga fact #4:  I acknowledge the fact that my brain is much better at taking in negative impressions than positive ones.  Why is it that I'm obsessing over the feeling of not fitting in that I was experiencing in my my own mind rather than allowing myself to feel good about myself for all the nice things people said to me?

Yoga fact #5:  Listen up- this is the most important one- Some things just can't be figured out.   Just have the experience and know that it's just that - one experience and one experience does not define who we are. 

The bottom line is that through the practice of meditation we can learn to separate our crazy non-sense thoughts from the truth.  It is only through meditation that we can see past the maya of separation - us against them to the reality of oneness.  We all struggle with a sense of insecurity about ourselves.  For some that manifests as a huge ego while for others it manifests as a feeling of not belonging.  What links us both is the sense of insecurity.  This insecurity comes from the sense of separateness therefore the solution may be to shift the focus to the oneness.

Just think how much better high school would have been if you knew then what you know now. 
Well, let's not waste time thinking about that but instead let's teach our children how to feel good about themselves and how to handle feelings of insecurity so maybe they will have a better high school experience.

Enough analyzing, now I'm releasing.   Om Namah Shivaya!  Om Namah Shivaya! Om Namah Shivaya!


  1. Oh the 80's and u mirella. Sixteen candles, I know all the words as well. Love that movie. Your blog is right on, people need to learn to love more and hate less. This world is not turning out to be a nice place anymore. People these days have no care about who they hurt. They don't realize what we do our children will follow.:(

  2. More and more I see that meditation is where it is at--the witness of the mind, the grounding of the air element and seeing the emotional charges for what they are. Am I there yet? Nope. But reading this makes me glad that someone struggles with the things that often lay me so low.