I really thought that everything I ever wanted to know could be found in between the covers of a book.
Holy Hell was I wrong!! I spent years and God only knows how much money buying book that promised
to solve all my problems.
With each new situation I found myself struggling with I turned to a book for the answers. There must be an expert somewhere who could answer my questions, I just have to find him/her. When I was pregnant with my first child I read every baby book and baby magazine I could get my hands on. Nothing I read prepared me for the experience of being a mother. Remember Dr. Brazelton? He was my favorite expert. He became my parenting guru. Well, for those of you with children, you know how well that worked out.
Some of my friends in the yoga teacher training used to tease me because I always had questions for the teachers. Sometimes I'd get an answer, sometimes not so I'd turn to my training manual. I'm sure the answers are there somewhere. Okay, maybe in one of the books on our recommended reading list. Sometimes I'd find the answers, sometimes not. I continue to search for the "Dr. Brazelton" of yoga. "I need a real guru" I tell my yoga friends. Someone who can answer all my questions. They remind me, as my teachers have many times before, some answers can only be found within.
This past week, a new baby was born to a fellow yoga teacher and my aunt passed away. When I look at that beautiful new baby I'm filled with questions, what samskaras has she carried with her from her previous lives? Where will her magic carpet take her? What's going on in her mind as she sleeps peacefully?
As I watched my aunt sleeping, and anxiously waiting for her to take her next breath, I am filled with questions. What will happen next? Where will her magic carpet take her? What is going on in her mind as she sleeps?
Looking at a baby we think of all the possibilities, all the potential for great things that lay ahead. When we are witnessing someone passing we again think of all the possibilities that lay ahead and the potential for another great journey. Or do we? Being raised in an Italian Catholic family I raised to believe that once you die you go to heaven where you'll be reunited with your loved ones that passed before you. But yoga teaches us about reincarnation, about being reborn again and again until we have learned the lessons we were meant to learn. Which is true? Who really knows for sure? You see....... The questions continue.
If you can't find the answers in the covers of a book where's a yogi to look? Can you guess? That's right!
in our yoga tool box. When your mind is exhausting you with questions like mine often is, go to your meditation cushion. Try articulating your question mentally. Do your sadhana. Don't contemplate the question. Remember when the thought comes -- repeat your mantra. Do your meditation. After meditation, journal. Don't think, just put the pen to the paper and see what happens..... Sometimes the question will be answered, somethings it won't. Just be willing to accept the answers when they come -- even if it's not what you want to hear.
Give it a try. Feel free to share your thoughts.