Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Love is a verb

Today someone said "Love is a verb. An action word not a noun."  I immediately had a flash back to Catholic elementary school.  Verbs are underlined in red pen and nouns are circled.   If the sentence is:  I love you.  It's obvious the word love would get underlined.  Why have I never given this any thought?   At what point did love become a feeling instead of an action word?

The thought that hijacked my brain today is "What is the action that I take that is love?"   How would you answer that question?  Go ahead and tell me.. I really want to know.   In yoga-land in particular people are always proclaiming their love for each other.  That's the easy part.  Saying I love you is easy.  But what's the action behind the words?

Over the past year there have been multiple occasions when I needed help.  Help with things like home repairs, broken down cars, learning how to use that DAMN weed wacker!  I needed help. I'm not really comfortable asking for help.  I have this belief, I'll admit a stupid one, but a belief that people should be paying attention and should just realize that I need help.  When I realized that wasn't getting me anywhere I swallowed my pride and reached out.  So many people tell me they love me and offer their assistance.  "If I can help you in anyway, call me."  Sadly, I discovered that those were mostly empty words.   I have certainly learned who my friends are and who I can actually count on this past year.

Don't worry.... I'm not trying to make anyone feel guilty... The point I'm trying to make is that I have learned how to love through this experience.  I learned  not to  offer my help or love unless I'm prepared to back it up with action.  Something weird happened to me.  One day, after my frustration and mental temper tantrum completely wore me out, I realized that the reason I'm experiencing these things is to teach me valuable lessons.  (yes, I know, I'm a slow learner!) Like when I feel sad that my kids don't have dinner with me I  remember how that feels when my own mom calls and asks me to go have dinner with her.  Even if I'm tired and I'd rather stay in I remember how the feeling and I go.  That's an action of love.

Love is a verb.  The action is to live your life in such a way that everyone around you feels your love. Then, words won't be necessary when our actions transit love.  It's not enough to say  "Love is the best medicine"  Even the best medicine in the world won't cure you if you don't take it.  Love is verb.  There must be an action that makes "love the best medicine".  

Just to be clear... The action of love doesn't have to some grand, dramatic gesture. Some of the most profound actions of love have been things like, a woman I hardly knew saw the severe burn on my hand and offered me some burn cream.  Another woman who volunteered to come to house in the middle of a heat wave to help me sand my front porch.   A friend who showed up my door with her tiller and car filled with tomato plants who worked her ass off to help me plant my garden after my surgery.  Someone's parents who extended a hand to help my daughter with her car.  There were others... but these random acts of kindness are love in action.

I ask you again,... What is the action that you  take that is love?   Love is verb, not a noun.

1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful prose on love. It compels me to reflect inwardly on not so much the "who" we love but "how we love. Thank you

    ReplyDelete

What would you say to your 19-year-old self?

  When I was 19 years old I didn't know a damn thing about life.  I certainly didn't know a damn thing about myself (I just didn'...