What is love?

The question of the day.......What is Love?.....

I posted this question on my facebook page and it seems the question has ruffled a few feathers.  The reaction I've gotten to the question has been very interesting.   My favorite reaction is "What kind of question is that?!"  It was just a question.   I'm curious.  Curious about what people are thinking.

My pal, Jon, reminds me often that not everyone things like I do. (  Although I can't imagine why not)   I know what love means to me and I wanted to know what it means to other people.  In yoga-land they're always talk about love.  No matter what the question, no matter what the situation, no matter the problem the answer given is always LOVE.  BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

Those of you who know me personally know that I'm not the mushy type.  Does that mean I'm not loving?  Those of you who know me personally know that I would move mountains for you. That's what love is.  Doing whatever is needed to care for those I love,  even when I want to smack them.

I have found that the word "love" is too limiting.  There should be way more ways to describe love. For instance.... I love cupcakes and cosmopolitans and I love my children do not adequately describe my feelings.   Can you even describe feelings? 

I'm rarely at a lose for words but there aren't words powerful enough to adequately describe what love is. 

Some of my facebook friends shared their thoughts:

*  "Love is the willingness to recognize that which is real" ~ Erich Schiffman

*  It is now.

*  Open armed surrender to the process

*  "love is EVERYTHING"

*  unconditional selflessness.

*  Divinity devouring/nourishing/sacrificing itself for and in and by itself...
*  Love can not be emphatically defined. It changes its shape all of the time. Once it is labeled it diminishes its existence. Love is the unique perception of an individual that regards an experience as being wonderful beyond words.
*   Love is caring for someone with all your heart in good and bad

All wonderful comments but I must agree with this one:  "Love can not be emphatically defined. It changes its shape all of the time. Once it is labeled it diminishes its existence."

I can tell you that when I love.... I love with all my heart.... I love you means I would die for you.   Love means that I will go to hell and back to take care of you.  Love means that I accept you for you, the good, the bad, and ugly.  But that also means that I love you enough to call you out when you are not living up to your own Divinity...... 

Love is helping others find their way back to God.  Even if that means they don't like us much in the process.... 

The paper mache heart

The story goes something like this......


There once was a girl who thought her heart was made of paper mache. She thought this because she could feel in her heart even the slightest shift in energy. Her heart was constantly being tossed around, torn and tattered. She did her best to protect it from the storms but her efforts only lead to the paper mache being damage from her own tears.

One day, she was sitting on the porch listening to the giggles of the children playing. The good thing about having a paper mache heart is that it's also effected by the slightest bit joy, like the sweet giggles of little ones at play. That's when she noticed the gentle breeze making beautiful music as it blew through the wind chimes.

The girl then decided that maybe it would be better to think of her heart as a wind chime instead of paper mache. Like a paper mache heart, the nature of the wind chime is to be effected by even the slighted movement. Only that the wind chime uses the shifts to create music where the paper mache is torn apart by the shifts.

"Like two golden birds perched on the selfsame tree, Intimates friends, the ego and the Self dwell in the same body. The former eats the sweet and sour fruits of the tree of life while the latter looks on in detachment." ~ Mundaka Upanishad



What's on your mind today?

Once again I must ask the question....."Why does anyone watch reality TV when there is so much entertainment going on right here in our own minds?"  I've been watching my mind running at a 100mph.
Watching it take little bits and pieces of things other people have said and weave it into a total soap opera.
My friend, Jon says he loves his mind because it's so entertaining.  I say my mind tortures me. 

As I've been watching all the random thoughts bouncing around in my mind I'm trying to find a common theme.  The one theme I discovered is that 99% of what I think it honestly, and truly NON-SENSE!
My mind is tossing around yesterday's conversation and wondering why I didn't say this or that or why I didn't ask the question when I had the chance.  When I'm not listening to the mental recording of yesterday's conversations I'm fantasizing about tomorrow's conversations.  Have you ever tried to imagine how tomorrow's conversation is going to go?  Has it ever happened the way you imagined it?  No one ever follows the script we write for them in our heads do they?

99% of the time I am simply wasting energy creating stories in my head.   No wonder I'm so damn tired all the time.  The incessant chatter is really exhausting.  We can no better predict the future than we can change the past.  So why do we spend so much time trying?

As for the other 1% of random thoughts I did find one, maybe two, that were gentle reminders from the Divine.  I probably would have recognized the reminders a lot sooner had I not had 99 other thoughts getting in the way. 

Reminders



* We are not our emotions so don't get attached

*Life is too short to waste so take chances

*There's no guarantee of tomorrow so speak what's in your heart

* Patience and contentment should be cultivated

*Self confidence isn't the same as egotism

*When we hold back from sharing our talents we are doing a disservice

*Meditation is the off switch for the mind

Oh......I just thought of one more thing I want to say...... Recognize that your past experiences are coloring your perceptions of the present.  Keep that in mind when you have such strong opinions about things.  Your perception may be a little off.  It's best to approach each situation with a clear mind, free from preconcieved notions.  With a clear, open mind we can receive the experience we are meant to receive without the past getting in the way.



All in due time.

It's still dark outside and with my sneakers in my hand I prepare for the gym.  But it's sadhana that calls me.
I leave the sneakers outside the door of the Zen Den and trade the treadmill for the meditation cushion. Time passes in an instant.  It's time to start the day.  I want to sit longer  but responsibilities await me.  Service is sadhana.

All day I sit at the my desk.  I do the work that needs to be done but every ounce of my being is longing for sadhana.  Service is sadhana when we offer the fruit of our work to God.  Finally, the work day is over but responsibilities are still plenty.  The meditation cushion must wait.

While grumbling to myself at the grocery store on the way home I remember:  Service is sadhana.  See God in everyone and offer all that you do in service to God.  Ok, I understand....I finish my shopping and head home to prepare dinner.  With this reminder fresh in my mind I prepare dinner with the intention of sadhana.  I am feeding my family as if I'm feeding God.  Seeing God in everyone.

We must fulfill our responsibilities even if it means formal practice of sadhana must wait.  If we were to abandon our responsibilities to our jobs and families in the name of sadhana we would be missing God's message to love and serve.

(Okay, I admit it.... I did abandon the dishes after dinner.) 

Everyone is preparing for bed, finally the pull of the Zen Den is too strong to ignore any longer.  With the chants to Shiva playing and room in a soft glow of the candle light I roll out my mat.  Immediately I feel my breath deepen and the stress of the day melt away.  As my body moves in rhythm to the music and my own breath I feel alive.  This is heaven right here in my own home. 

As I slowly make my way to the meditation cushion in front of the alter I close my eyes.  Still it's the Shiva mantras playing in my mind so I go with it....

OM. Tryambakam yajamahe

Sugandhim pushti-vardhanam

Urvarukamiva bandhanan

Mrityor mukshiya mamritat

Tanslation:  OM. We worship and adore you, O three-eyed one, O Shiva. You are sweet gladness, the fragrance of life, who nourishes us, restores our health, and causes us to thrive. As, in due time, the stem of the cucumber weakens, and the gourd is freed from the vine, so free us from attachment and death, and do not withhold immortality.


"As, in due time, the stem of the cucumber weakens, and the gourd is freed from the vine"  This sentence seemed to apply to the entire day yesterday.  In due time.....formal sadhana was possible.  Until then I needed to remember to make everything I do an offering to God which makes everything sadhana. 

What I wish I knew when I was 22.

The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to control your destiny. That's right, YOU have the power.  Not just some of you....ALL OF YOU!! Including me.  We have the power to control our destiny by choosing our thoughts.   It's really that simple

For years and years I wasted so much energy on worrying and being fearful.  That worry and fear was paralyzing and exhausting.  Hindsight is 20/20 they say.  I can see clearly now that 99.9% of the things I worried about never actually happened.  Not to say that bad things haven't happened but never the thing that I worried about.  And guess what?  When bad things did happen, I survived and grew from it.  The seed must break open for the flower to grow. 

Sometimes just remembering that you have the power to choose your thought is enough.  Other times, we need some help.  Sometimes the obsessive thought is so ingrained and has such a strong hold on our minds that we need something equally powerful to counter it.  That's when we use mantra.  Mantra is so powerful that it can override any other thoughts and/or fears.  But don't take my word for it, try it yourself.

Let's face it, you're going to obsess anyway so why not give your mind something useful to obsess about.  Choose a mantra, prayer or inspirational passage.  Memorize it and whenever your mind is hijacked by worry or fear choose to think the mantra instead.  Then sit back and watch how your life changes.

REMEMBER:  YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE ONE THOUGHT OVER ANOTHER.  WHY NOT CHOOSE THE POSITIVE THOUGHT??

(shameless self-promotion:  if you are interested in learning mantra meditation email me or message me with your contact info.)

I surrender............

As I sit in front of my alter I pray "Divine Mother, make me an instrument of your peace.  I offer my life in service to you.  Let my words be your words, my hands be your hands.  Use my life in whatever way you see fit.  Not my will but your will be done".   As I sit in the stillness in the early morning I wholeheartedly, sincerely mean the words I pray.

But it isn't long before the challenges begin.  Suddenly the old anger and resentments  rise up. At a closer look I realize it's an opportunity to practice forgiveness.    Some days its earier than other days.  As I move through the day I may find myself losing my patience with someone.  I get frustrated until I shift my perspective and see it as an opportunity to practice patience.  Some days its earier than others.  At times my inner child is throwing the mother of all temper tantrums when things don't go my way or I'm not getting the attention I want.  It's at those times that it's most important that I remember to be still and go within so that I can hear the whispers of the Divine reminding me to surrender my self will.

Setting aside my self will to make room for the will of the Divine is the practice of surrender.  Some days are easier than others.  Some days my self will is like a two year old in the middle of a full blown temper tantrum complete with kicking and screaming and maybe even holding my breath. 

At times I think to myself that doing the work of the Divine Mother should be more glamorous.  When I offer my life in service shouldn't that mean doing great works of charity?  Shouldn't I go to some exotic foreign country and feed the poor or something??? Doesn't that mean I should organize some huge fund raiser to help cure cancer or something?  You guessed it, that's my ego talking.   Some people's dharma is to do these great works of charity.   My dharma is to live by the light of Ma's grace in ordinary, every day situations. 

Every ordinary interaction with others becomes an opportunity to serve.  Yes, it's commendable to do great works of charity.  But equally important are the little things you do in your day to day life.  Holding the door for someone else.   Helping someone who's struggling with their groceries.  Offering a word of encouragement to someone who struggling.  If you make a donation or do some work of charity doing it anonymously.  Make dinner for someone for no reason.  Forgive someone who hurt you deeply.  Have compassion for those who hurt you because clearly they are dealing with their own inner demons. 

Every ordinary interaction with your loved ones or strangers alike is an opportunity to practice forgiveness, patience, love, and surrender.   When we choose to do what's best for others even when it means that it's not what our ego or self will would like.... That's the practice of surrender.  

When we surrender our individual, self will for the greater  good.....that's surrender.  It's easy to talk about surrender while sitting on the meditation cushion but the real practice happens in the ordinary, every day moments.  When I look at the challenges and struggles in my life through the light of spiritual practice I can see the Divine will at work. I am finding it easier to surrender when I remember my morning prayer:

 "Divine Mother, make me an instrument of your peace.  I offer my life in service to you.  Let my words be your words, my hands be your hands.  Use my life in whatever way you see fit.  Not my will but your will be done"

By the light of the moon.....

"Mom! Where's my shoes?!"  "They're in the closet" the mother replies.
"I looked....they aren't there!  I need them now. I'm late!!" The desperate child calls out. "I put them in the closet myself.  Look again".  The mom calmly replies.  "Oh yeah!  I found them".

The mom goes back to her meditation....  By the light of the moon the mom seeks the answers to life's questions....."Ma! where are the answers?" The desperate child calls out.  "They're right there, in the lotus of your heart"  Ma calmly replies.  "I don't see them.... I need them right now!"  The Divine mother whispers...."I put them there myself... look again". 

Oh... Yeah....there they are....in the lotus of my heart, right where Ma told me I'd find them.

I sometimes forget that it's really that simple.  I get so lost in the details that I forget to simply turn on the light so I can see that what I'm looking for is right there in front of me.  How I turn on the light is by committing to a daily spiritual practice.  It's in the practice of training my mind to be one pointed that I can get beyond the clutter that prevents me from hearing Ma's whispers guiding me. 
 

Jai Ma!