Compassion

"Where's the compassion?"  I've spent a lot time thinking about  compassion since that question was posed to me.   First thing I did was look up the definition of compassion.

Compassion; noun  (online dictionary)
"sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortune of others." 

This is the one I liked the best:
"compassion literally means to suffer together." (greatergood.berkeley.edu)

Then I read a bunch of online articles about what compassion is. I consulted the Bhagavad Gita and the Upanishads.   I watched some podcasts about it.  I had resolved to learn everything I could about compassion.

At the end of my week long search I can say, with a fair amount of certainty, that where compassion is not is in my head.   What I did find in my head was a lot of negative self-talk.  I kept telling myself that I am somehow deficient in the "compassion department".   How can I feel compassion for people who have hurt me?  That's crazy!!  No way!!  I'm not feeling sorry for those people! 

Get out of your head and into your heart. 

This morning a sat for meditation with the thought that I had failed at finding compassion.  Sitting in front of my alter I prayed to the Divine Mother to show me the way.  There wasn't much time after meditation to journal. I was already running late for work but as I showered I felt myself getting angry.  

I am a compassionate person!!! and just like that... I found where compassion is.   It's in my heart.  It was as if the Divine Mother turned the light on in my heart. I could see clearly that love, empathy, and compassion are qualities of my true nature.  

Through out the day today I had flashes of memories.  Memories where I felt hurt or betrayed.    When I observed those memories I was seeing the actions of the other person.  It wasn't until I turned my focus inward towards myself that I was able to see "where the compassion was".  It was in my ability to forgive over and over.  It was in my ability to keep showing up wholeheartedly.  It was in my ability to see that the actions of the person doing the hurting were motivated by their own pain and suffering.  

The Divine Mother's light in my heart helped me to see that in my effort for self preservation I had hardened my heart.  At the time, it felt like the only way for me to free myself from the endless cycle of abuse that had become my dysfunctional marriage.  I had come to believe that my capacity for forgiveness was a sign of weakness.  I must  be stupid to have stayed in an unhealthy relationship for so long.  I was wrong, I wasn't stupid or weak.  I have compassion for the suffering of others.  I am blessed with a great capacity to "suffer together".  Feeling the pain and suffering of others as if it were my own is compassion.  

One of the articles I read said that compassion is not only feeling the suffering of others but also wanting to help.  The fact of the matter is that sometimes the most compassionate thing we can do to help someone is to show them that their actions have consequences.  I can be a compassionate person and maintain strong boundaries.  I can feel compassion for your suffering and  still hold you accountable for your actions when you use your suffering as an excuse to hurt others. 

Now, the work is to have compassion for myself and acknowledge that I am doing the very best I can.  Allowing myself to soften and open my heart again will take time, patience and self compassion.  I have faith that returning to my true nature will be worth the effort. 

"Where's the compassion?"  In the lotus of the heart.  Om Mani Padme Hum.

Temper tantrum ahead... proceed with caution!!

One thing I know for sure is that I have no patience for yoga babble.  I was trying to think of way to say what I need to say in some flowery, fluffy way so that it won't come across so harsh.  Sorry... I can't come up with any yoga babble so here's my disclaimer:

You may not like what I have to say but that doesn't mean you don't need to hear it.  If you get offended easy... stop reading now.  If you're interested in getting to the heart of the matter.... keep reading.  The choice is yours.  I will try to say this as nicely as I know how.

It's time to wake up people!!  It's time to take off your malas and your fancy yoga pants and get down to the business of actually being a yogi!!!  Get off your meditation cushion and get your hands dirty in the world!!!  PAY ATTENTION TO THE YOGIC TEACHINGS!!  THEY APPLY TO YOU TOO!!

Yea, you... drinking your coconut water while your neighbor is dying of thirst.   You, who are busy counting mantras on your $108. malas while your friend is crying for help.   While you're practicing holding head stand for 20 minutes, there's a child who needs a mentor. 

All the talk of love and light and enlightenment has blinded us!!  The world will not be saved by meditation alone.   We must all be willing to get off our asses and WORK!!   Remember that??  There is real work to be done in this world if there's any hope of a future for our children. 

We cannot all renounce the world and sit in our air conditioned yoga room pretending that all is right with the world as long as we talk about contentment and acceptance.  Have any of you read the Bhagavad Gita??  Didn't Krishna talk about doing your duty?  I think so.   What is your duty?  Do you even know?

I'm no expert in spiritual matters but I do believe I remember 200hr yoga teacher training.  I remember some mention of karma yoga.  Remember Karma yoga?  The path of self-less service??  Not everyone is suppose to be a guru or priest!!  Some of us are suppose to be in the trenches, so to speak.  Who is the better yogi??  MY ANSWER.....THE ONE DOING HIS/HER OWN DUTY JOYFULLY.  Whether it's being the guru or being the one taking care of the day to day needs of the masses. 

Why is it that people in yoga-land are willing to travel to the other side of the globe to offer their self-less service but won't stop what they are doing to drive (in their air conditioned car) a few blocks to help a friend who is stranded in the streets for hours in 100 degree heat??????  

I know this won't make me very popular in yoga-land but hell... I've never  been in with the popular crowd anyway why worry about it at this point in my life?  The people closest to me know that I take my responsibilities very serious and that means my commitment to karma yoga.  

THIS IS A CALL TO ACTION....LOOK AROUND YOU... SEE WHAT WORK NEEDS TO BE DONE AND JUST DO IT!!!  EVEN IF NO-ONE IS LOOKING!!!!  Then you can call yourself a karma yogi.  

A prayer to Kali-Ma!

The best part of my morning commute to work is passing a local business that always has the best quotes on their sign.  Some quotes are so great that I actually write them down.   Like this one:

"We want to be humble but we're afraid no one will notice"



How true is that statement? I was reminded of  this quote today after seeing some ego driven posts on facebook.  My first reaction to someone who's being incredibly egotistical is to get angry.  "What a jack-ass!" is usually my reaction.  Now, don't get me wrong... I know I have an ego just as much as the next guy but at least I TRY to keep my ego in check.   And when I can't get my ego in check myself I can depend on my friends to remind me when  I'm the one being the jack-ass.

After my usual rant of  "WHAT A JACK-ASS!!"  my friend, Jon reminded me with a gentle  "C'mon, he's a real person."  I needed to take a look at myself and my reaction to said Jack-ass....I mean real person.  

What exactly motivates such strong negative reaction  in me when someone else's ego is so inflated?  Why does it bother me so much?  Why does my blood boil at other people's bad behavior?   These are some of the questions I'm asking myself tonight.  

Here's the ugly truth I uncovered:

1.  Envy.  I envy their ability for shameless self-promotion.

2.  Self-righteousness.  I have strong values and morals and I feel that everyone else should too.

3   Respect.  My perceived lack of respect for teachers.

4.  Humility.  I believe it's the foundation for spiritual practice and feel frustrated when people act as though

     it's optional. 

Listen, I know I'm not perfect, not by any stretch of the imagination, but COME ON people!! How can you preach letting go of the ego in one post and then proclaim your greatness in the next?  How can you preach oneness while you work tirelessly to elevate yourself above others?  

Let's not forget Kali-Ma.   If you don't offer up your ego willingly she will cut off your head!! 

Jai Kali-Ma..... I offer my ego and my self-righteous attitude to you willing and I pray that you illuminate my consciousness whenever I may be acting as bad as said Jack-ass...I mean real person.