Are you listening?

For years I've had this recurring dream.   A nightmare actually.  In the dream I'm the only one who notices that someone is about to open fire in a crowded place.  I'm in a panic because I know what's about to happen.  How do I warn people without bringing attention to myself?  How can I save everyone?  Why isn't anyone else seeing what I'm seeing?  What should I do?

The details change.  Sometimes I'm in a bank, sometimes I'm in a school, Once I was at an outdoor sporting event.  What's always the same is that I can see something that no one else sees.  What's always the same is people don't listen to my warnings.

Dreams seem to carry powerful messages for me.   I've been trying to understand the messages of this particular dream for a long time.   The fact that it's so dramatic and intense makes it hard to think about.  The fact that it's recurring means that as hard as it is to look at it's imperative that I get the message. 

It's March 16, 2020.  We are in the middle of a global pandemic.  Everyone is understandably freaking out.  It's a dramatic and intense time, much like in my dream.   Some businesses have listened to the warnings and closed while others have not listened to the warnings.  Some people are taking the warning of social distancing seriously while others...have not.

Even in yoga-land,  people are understandably freaking out.   So many people I know were struggling financially before Covid19 and will now most certainly suffer even more.  How do we quarantine ourselves when so many of us depend on our social interactions for not only financial support but also mental and emotional support?   What should we do?

There's a moment in the dream where I think to myself, maybe I'm over-reacting.  Maybe it's not a mass shooting that's about to happen.   What will people think if I'm wrong?  If it was anything serious surely someone else would notice before me. 

But what if I'm not wrong?  What if I don't speak up and people die because I was too afraid to speak up?  Even if no one listens I have to at least do my part to warn people.  How could I live with myself if I stand by and do nothing?

The message of the dream is this.... 

*   be quiet

*   pay attention to your surroundings

*   speak up even if you're scared 

*   trust your gut

*   trust someone else's gut when they give you a warning that might seem strange or weird

*   be still 

*   use this time of quarantine for contemplation 

*   not everything needs to be a social gathering

*   get  back to basics

*   exam your values 

*   old ways of working and living are no longer an option ... look for another way 

*   look out for one another; share your resources

*   take only what you need 

*  respect Mother Nature or suffer the consequences, the choice is yours

The Goddess, Durga is the great warrior Goddess of Protection.   When your mind begins to run out of control during these dramatic and intense times call on her.  Since your mind is going to obsess anyway give it something good to obsess over. When you don't know what to do repeat her mantra:  Om Hreem Shreem Dum Durgaya Namaha.

Love trumps hate

I'm not sure if it's a blessing or a curse but I can feel people's energy within my own being.  I've learned to trust what I feel from people more than I trust what they do or say.  The past few days have been intense to say the least.  I've been resisting the urge to let my emotions motivate my words and actions. I've been listening mostly.  Listening with my gut and my heart instead of my mind and ego. 

On Wednesday I think I was in shock.  I must have been in denial or maybe I was naive.  You see, I have a very diverse circle of friends.  That is a blessing.  I have friends who are passionate activists for human rights,equality and our environment.  That is a blessing.   My friends are kind, compassionate and generous.  That is a blessing.   On Tuesday when I cast my vote I truly believed that good would prevail.  I believed that my diverse circle of friends represented the masses.  I was shocked and honestly, horrified as I watched the news the next day.  Clearly I've been living in a bubble of love and light and cotton candy.   That.... was not a blessing; or was it? 

This blog is not about politics.  It's about yoga.  More specifically, it's about how I apply yoga to my day to day life.  This, my friends, is where the rubber meets the road.  It's very easy for me to feel love and compassion for my diverse circle of friends.. We all have similar values.  It's easy for me to see God in everyone when everyone I see share my ideals.   We are being given an opportunity to practice yoga.   Yoga is union... 

As I mentioned, I've been listening...  I heard a woman say "I voted for him because he's going to take care of our soldiers." her voice quivering.  Her vote felt like it  was not about hate or racism. Her vote was not to condone violence against women.  Her vote was for what she thought would help our service men and women.  

When I told someone that I couldn't vote for such a hateful man her reply was "He's not hateful. I can't vote for Hillary because of her role in Bengazi."  She was noticeably confused about why I would think he was so filled with hate.  This exchanged reminded me of an interview I watched on Super Soul Sunday.  

During the interview, these relationship experts who happened to be married were talking about ways to resolve conflicts in relationship.  The suggestion that stuck with me was this, they suggested that when you are in a relationship you have gained another set of eyes with which to see the world.  During a conflict, ask your partner  "What is it that you're seeing that I'm not?".  Asking the question puts us on the same side of the conflict and helps us work together to resolve the conflict.  It gives us an opportunity to see another perspective.  

I can honestly say that I have felt sad and disappointed when I hear that people that I love and respect voted for that man. It felt shocking to learn that people I love and respect could vote for someone who has exhibited such deplorable behavior.   What's made it a bit easier to wrap my head around their choice has been remembering why I love and respect these people.  Knowing that at their core, they are kind, loving people it begs the question "What is it that you're seeing that I'm not?" 

At the end of the day, how that man chooses to live his life does not dictate how I choose to live mine.  He does not represent me and my values.  He will no doubt bring destruction and chaos to the government as we know it.  It's going to be messy and painful but my hope is that it will clear the way for something better to emerge.   Before there can be a re-birth there must be a death.  

I sort of feel sorry for that man.  It seems God has chosen him to be the instrument  for destruction.
He has certainly exposed a shit ton of ugly in people that I never expected.  He's shown me that I was living in a bubble where I really truly believed that  racism, misogyny, and homophobia were rare rather than the norm.   He has exposed the work that needs to be done in this country and that is a blessing.  The darkness has been exposed.  It's up to us to bring the light.  

It's time to roll up our sleeves and get to work building communities and building bridges with our brothers and sisters of all races, religions and all creeds so that once the dust settles from the dismantling of a corrupt and unjust system we are ready to step up and together build a system that is founded on the values of integrity, compassion and justice for ALL humanity. 

During the destruction process I invite you to invoke the energy of Durga Ma.  Embody her and let's get to work...  

OM DUM DURGAYAI SWAHA! 

 

My new friend, Saraswati

I should begin by saying that I have not done any sadhana to Saraswati.  At least not yet.  I've always heard that she is the Goddess of music, art, dance.  I've always thought that only musicians or artists did sadhana to Saraswati.  I was wrong.  She is inspiration itself,  pure consciousness.

The story goes that in the beginning Brahma, the creator, asked "How do I bring order to this chaos?"
Saraswati answered "With knowledge.  Knowledge helps man find possibilities where once he saw problems."  What I didn't know is that Saraswati is the Goddess of knowledge.  "She is the river of consciousness that enlivens creation."

That story struck home for me because my life has felt like complete and total chaos for the last couple of years.  I recently went to talk to a counselor who basically said the same thing to me.  Her advice was "Knowledge is power." She set me on track to find the information that I needed to bring order to the chaos I was facing.  It was quite empowering.

Saraswati is creativity.  She is inspiration. She governs over our speech.  Her energy embodies the power of discernment. It's said that if you were to pour milk into the lake, Saraswati's swan could separate the milk from the water and only drink the milk.  It is her gift of discernment that allows us the ability to separate truth from untruth.

Honestly, while I was reading,  I was surprised at how powerfully I was drawn to her.
Goddess, Lakshmi, is about using the senses to enjoy all the beauty in life,  Saraswati is more simple, clear, pure.  She's more interested in meditation, higher learning, wisdom.

"The question arose: who did Vishnu, the preserver,  need more? Lakshmi or Saraswati? Wealth or Knowledge?......Vishnu replies... "I need both knowledge and wealth to sustain the cosmos. Without knowledge, I cannot plan.  Without wealth, I cannot implement a plan.  Wealth sustains life; the arts give value to life.  Thus both Saraswati and Lakshmi are needed to live a full life." ~ Devi, Devdutt Pattanaik

Again, this is powerful for me personally.  I tend to appreciate practicality over beauty.  I look at something beautiful and while I can appreciate it's beauty I do not always see the value in it.   My mind doesn't see the value in something that has no practical, useful purpose.  This is a mental pattern that I'm working to change.  I look at some shinny, beautiful thing and I immediately ask "What's it's purpose?"  Instead of passing it by when I can't think of a useful purpose I try to remember that "beautifying my environment" is it's purpose.  

Both Saraswati and Lakshmi are needed to live a full life.  I have a feeling I'll be writing more about Saraswati in the future but for now here's her mantra.

OM AIM HRIM SARAWATYAI NAMAHA
Om, I bow to the flowing one whose essence is wisdom and the power to manifest

Use her mantra when you need some inspiration, when you are learning something new, when you need to give an important talk or speech.  Invoke her energy when you need help finding a solution to a problem or when you're making music or art.

 ~Awakening Shakti, Sally Kempton 

Lakshmi

Om Shrim maha Lakshmyai namah

The Goddess Lakshmi represents abundance, wealth, good fortune, beauty, love, fertility and all the sweetness in life.  

When I began my Lakshmi sadhana the intention was to attract enough cash flow to help me make ends meet.  Praying for abundance or wealth always felt greedy.  So I prayed for just enough.  At the beginning I didn't think attracting beauty into my life was worthwhile.  After all, I needed cash not beauty.  But... the way to honor or attract Lakshmi's attention and blessing is with beauty so I embarked on a beautiful adventure. 

I set up an alter in my bedroom. I covered the dresser with a shimmery Gold cloth.  I found a lovely, delicate lotus flower shaped candle holder that is a pale pink color.  The radiant glow of the candle holder when the candle is lit is perfect.  I offer her beautiful flowers, I offer her a beautiful mala hand made for me by a woman who embodies Lakshmi's beauty.  

My rituals include beautifying my environment.  Sweeping and mopping the floors, Making sure to keep my surrounds tidy and organized.  I read somewhere that Lakshmi likes a beautiful, clean environment.  As I do my household chores I remind myself that I am preparing my home for the Goddess.  I started the 100 days of beauty Facebook page to document the beauty I find in the ordinary.  In order to receive I must give, so I give of my time, I give money, even if it's only a few dollars to others who need it more than I do, I offer support and encouragement.  In order to receive I must give. 

Several months into my sadhana I started to feel Lakshmi's presence in my life.  I do believe she was always there but with my attention being put into honoring her I was more aware of her blessings.  I am surrounded by beauty.  It was always there.  All I needed to do was look.  The effort I put into beautifying my environment increases the beauty I see everywhere.  What I put my attention on grows stronger in my life. Taking the time to nourish and take care of myself  helps me feel more beautiful. The contentment I feel when I know that I am supported by the Divine Mother helps me. When I'm feeling calmer and at peace it radiates outward. Beauty begins within.  When you feel beautiful you look more beautiful. Nourishing and taking care of ourselves from the inside out is a way to honor Lakshmi.  She is all about the goodness and sweetness of life.  

Last summer, each time I picked vegetables from my garden I offered them first to Ma Lakshmi. Knowing that it was her Grace that provided the abundance of colorful, nourishing food.  It was Lakshmi's blessing that provided the friend who graciously came and helped me plant the seeds. What could be a better description of good fortune than friendship? 

What began as a sadhana asking for Lakshmi's blessing quickly turned into a sadhana of thanksgiving.  What good fortune to be able to recognize the abundance of goodness and sweetness that surrounds us! 

Om Shrim maha Lakshmyai namah!