Shadows

Here's the view from my meditation cushion.  Look closely, do you see any sunlight?  No.  Me neither.
Not until I'm deep in meditation that is.  The most interesting things happen during and after meditation.   [Forgive me if I'm breaking some meditation rule about not sharing the details]

My meditation space is in my basement and although there are 2 small windows it's still the basement.
The point is that the sun cannot shine directly into the space.  So explain to me how/why while deep in meditation I experience the sensation that I am looking directly into the shinning sun on a beautiful summer day?  You know when you're on the beach and you close your eyes and turn your face towards the sun?
You can feel the warmth of the sun and feel the brightness even with your eyes closed.   Then suddenly a bird flies by and for a second there's a shadow in the brightness. 

Not only have I been experiencing the intense brightness but also the shadows.  When it first happened I quickly opened my eyes expecting to see something there that made the shadow.   Look at the photo again...  it's just a wall.  Nothing there to make a shadow.  Not to mention nothing there to make the brightness of the sun in my little space. 

Over and over I have this experience. Over and over I wonder what makes the shadows across the brightness? 

This morning the answer came to me..... it's my self-doubt.  It's my fears and negative thought patterns.  The brightness of the sun is always there in our consciousness.  We are beings of light.  We connect to our inner light in deep meditation. When we connect our individual inner light to the infinite light of Divine Grace it is like the brilliance of a thousands suns.  But the shadows still remain.  There's still work to be done.  The moments of pure light are fleeting.   The shadows have much to teach us.  In the shadow is where the work of self-realization happens.

We can't run away from the shadows.  We need to explore and learn the lessons offered by the them. 

Close your eyes. Turn your face to the sun and feel the brilliance of Divine Grace.  It's always there. But we need to be still to notice.  When the shadows come, welcome them and pay attention to what they are teaching.