I'd love to tell you that I've had some profound spiritual awakening or felt "kundalini rising" but that would be a total lie. Lying would be
not following the ethical code set down for us by Patanjali in the yoga sutras. Therefore, I'm going to tell you like it is.
This morning I felt like I was meditating in a cage with a bunch of those crazy little monkeys you see in the zoo. You know the ones, they are the ones jumping around, yelling and screaming, rattling their cages to get your attention. Today, they were rattling my cage!
I start off in a comfortable seated posture, I take a few release breaths, close my eyes and begin the mantra. So far so good. It isn't long before I notice a strange sound.
my mind says " Oh, maybe that's the nada yoga sounds I've been reading about".
(It wasn't. It was the sound of the laptop on the table".
I go back to the mantra.....
then my mind says "OMG! did I give my boss the right information yesterday. You know he'll freak out if it wasn't"
I go back to the mantra......
my mind says " I must be almost done 1 mala. I've been at it for a long time. I should look" (Not even close!)
I go back to the mantra......
my mind then says "Why are you using this mantra to the sun? Don't you remember that
Ed said the sun is too strong in all my houses according to my astrological chart."
(Oh, my mind is so clever.... I almost fell for that one.
I go back to the mantra...... Om Bhur Bhuva......
And so it went. It took longer than 20 minutes today. When I completed the 108 repetitions I noticed that my mind was still repeating the mantra. "Oh great! I thought now that I'm done my mind decides to cooperate!"
Although my crazy monkey mind tried it's best to distract me from my goal I completed 1 mala. That's all that matters. I remind myself that each time I complete 1 mala I am strengthening my will. Eknath Easwaran says that our greatest tool in the practice of meditation is our will. He also says our greatest enemy in the practice of meditation is our will.
I didn't reach enlightenment today, I didn't have a spiritual awakening. What I experienced today was a practice in strengthening my will. I also experienced a real connection with the concept of witness consciousness. I was really aware of my mind trying to distract me.
Perhaps I'll need a few more life times to reach this state called enlightenment but at least I have a road map now.
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