"Now I know why not everyone has a garden, it's hard work" This was Jake's observation this morning while helping me in the garden. It is hard work but honestly, what isn't these days?
I'm an amateur gardener. I dig a hole, plant something, and hope for the best. That's probably not the best technique but I tend to learn better by actually doing whatever I'm trying to learn. Each year I learn more and more. Some years are plentiful and others not so much. Some problems are in my control, like learning to prune the tomato plant and fig tree. Other things are out of my control, the critters and the weather for example.
The first couple rows of beans I had planted early in the season weren't looking so good. I debated about pulling them out and starting over. This morning I had to add more string to support them! They not only bounced back, but they are thriving.
The same thing happened with the Basil plant that was in my kitchen window. Most of it was dead and while I was taking it to the trash can I noticed one teeny tiny shoot on one of the stems. Instead of throwing it out I cut away all the dead parts and planted the stem with the tiny shoot in fresh soil and took it outside. Today I needed to re-pot it in a bigger container.
I moved on to pulling weeds from the fire pit area. Last year we put down cardboard, then a layer of weed blocker, and topped the entire area with rocks. Yet, I still need to pull weeds from the area which got me thinking about resiliency.
Resilience (from the Cambridge dictionary) means the ability to be happy, successful, etc. again after something difficult or bad has happened. It also says the ability of a substance to return to its usual shape after being bent, stretched, or pressed.
While some weeds came out fairly easily, others had much deeper, stronger roots. Those weeds I left alone. I figured, after all they went through (cardboard, weed blocker, rocks) their resiliency earned them the right to be there. These persistent weeds, with their deep, strong roots, were reflecting back to me my own resilience and the resiliency of all women in this country. Why are there still those who fail to see that we have earned our rights?
I've experienced difficult and even bad things, I've been bent, stretched, and pressed in so many areas of my life. Today, I'm sweaty, achy, and exhausted but my roots are deep, I have a support system and I've earned the right to be here. At times I feel like a teeny tiny shoot holding on and reaching for the sunshine. At times, I'm tired and ragged. Still, like the persistent plants in my garden with their strong roots, I continue to grow. Sometimes, it's not the plant but the environment that needs changing in order for it to blossom.
Some gardens grow in nice, neat rows, others grow wild and untamed. Both are beautiful and both can be bountiful. One isn't better than the other. The choice of neat and tidy or wild and untamed is up to the gardener. How we each chose to live our lives is up to us.
Like most women in this country I have been contemplating the ramifications of the Supreme court's decision to overturn Roe v Wade. Although I personally am against abortion for me I respect the rights of each woman to make the decision that she feels is best for her and her situation. Life, after all, it not always neat and tidy. Sometimes things outside of our control happen and life becomes messy. Who can presume to know what's best for someone else?
What came to me as I was pulling weeds is that it may take some time to gather our energy and start the arduous journey of pushing up, once again, through all the barriers put in place to keep us down. The work women have been doing for decades has strengthened our roots so that we can continue to grow. We have earned the right to bodily autonomy through our strength, resiliency and persistence. We can't give up now.
If you prefer a nice, tidy garden where everything is under your control then by all means grow that type of garden at your home. If you prefer your garden wild and untamed then by all means grow that type of garden at your home. There is enough room in the world for both.
Imagine if you tried to go into your neighbor's garden and decided that your way of gardening is the only way and started implementing your ideas in their garden. You might think that's ok because you truly believe your way is the right way. Would you be okay with your neighbor coming into YOUR garden and implementing their ways in your garden? After all, they too feel their way is truly the right way.
Remember, at the end of the day, the only garden you have the right to tend to is your own. If you want to grow Swiss Chard in your garden... Go for it. But please don't tell me what to grow in my garden. Honestly, if we all focused on tending to our own gardens we'd be to tired to care what the neighbors are doing in theirs.
