Rainbow colored glasses

What's the deal with turtle neck sweaters with no sleeves?? If it's cold enough to wear a turtle neck sweater you would think you'd want sleeves right?? I feel the same about 3/4 length sleeves... Shirts should come in short sleeves or long sleeves.. Anything in between just seems indecisive to me.

This is the way my mind works... Things are very black or white, right or wrong, yes or no. You are either here or there. I either like it or not. Things are working or they're not. There's no in between in my mind. I prefer people be direct and to the point. I don't want to have to guess. Are you coming or going? Do you like me or not? I say what I mean, I mean what I say and I believe everyone should do the same.

I honestly feel that life is so much easier when things are clear cut. Organization, rules, and categories reduce chaos and therefore make things easier. Unfortunately, I haven't had much luck in convincing the rest of the universe to think like me.

I do admit that on more than a few occasions I've been reminded that there are all sort of varying shades of gray, including a full rainbow of colors. I am finally, slowly starting to see the light. Perhaps it's true that some experiences simply don't fit neatly into a category. Sometimes experiences that bring us pleasure end up causing us pain in the end. Sometimes experiences that cause us pain eventually bring us to pleasure.

Today I'm wearing rainbow colored glasses and I'm acknowledging that God's Grace has no limits. It is only my ego that sees life in black and white. I know I am not my ego. We are so much more than our mind can even imagine. I see now that in my effort to define myself and others I am limiting myself and others. I will do my best to continue to wear these rainbow colored glasses so that I can enjoy experiencing the infinite possibilities of life unfolding in full color.

But I still don't understand turtle neck sweaters without sleeves...

"It ain't all about you, hon" ~JB

I've been spending a lot of time watching myself think while pretending to meditate. The re-run that's been playing is a pity party for me. However this morning I noticed an interesting pattern. The thoughts were something like this……

“I’m such a fool to have trusted so and so…” “I’m so stupid for not paying closer attention to what was going on.” “How could I have been so stupid not to see” On and on the story went. Recounting every thing that every person I ever knew did to hurt me. “I feel bad for confronting so and so about the lies” “I feel bad that I stood up for myself because it made so and so upset.”

Do you see it? Do you see the pattern? “I”, “I”, “I”….. It’s all about me. Talk about ego! The veil has lifted… I make everything about ME. I feel responsible for other people’s behavior…. Seriously??!! As if I don’t have enough trouble keeping track of my own behavior.

Why does trusting someone make ME feel like a fool when that person lies? Why do I
feel bad about what someone else did? Why do I make it about ME?

Enough!! I cannot worry about the consequences of someone else’s choices.

The pattern has been discovered. It’s time to re-direct the energy and focus to something more constructive. Clearly, a seated meditation alone doesn’t seem to be enough right now. It’s time for intense sadhana (spiritual practice).

The thought pattern has been harsh, critical, and judgmental. Keeping in mind the axiom, like increases like and opposite cures, means that what’s required is some gentleness, contentment, peace of mind, and surrender.

Here’s the plan in case you’d like to join me: 30 day Moon sadhana begins tonight. 11 rounds of Chandra Namaskar, chanting 108X the mantra: Om Som Somaya Namaha, and hopefully meditation will happen (for real).

The intention: Letting go of resentment, anger and feeling responsibility for other
people’s actions. Remembering; that we are only responsibility for our own integrity.

What’s the saying? “Let go and let God” Let God deal with the karma of others and focus on not creating negative karma for ourselves.