Jakey goes to yoga!

Saturday night while tucking my baby into bed he told me he wanted to come to yoga with me the next morning. I'm not gonna lie....my heart was singing. The next morning I gave him the option to go with his father or even stay home with his sister. "No, I want to come with you."

We arrive, set up our mats and put on some music. While we wait for students to arrive he shows me how his action figures can do yoga. One is doing downward facing dog and the other tree pose. I'm not gonna lie....I love that he makes his action figures do yoga. (a nice change from the usual shooting each other) I give him the option to take his action figures and go to the back room to play when class starts. "No, I want to do yoga"

He sat attentively while I talked about my bhavana. I'm not gonna lie.... I loved having him there next to me. Watching him move through the practice made me smile.  At one point he caught my eye and says "Mom look, I'm doing it" and gave me a thumbs up. I know I'm his mother but he really is the sweetest boy on earth! During Savasana I looked over and he's lying on his mat playing quietly with his action figures. My little yogi boy.

I can't help but wonder what influence yoga will have in his life as he grows up. There is a reason God has entrusted me with this little one to guide. Even though I may never know the impact that my yoga sadhana has on my children, in that moment, I was so happy to share it with Jake.

Afterwards my heart was overflowing with pride and joy. One of the ladies asked him if he liked the class. "It wasn't that much fun" was his reply.  Gotta love him.....

With great love and respect......

"With great love and respect, I honor my heart, my true teacher"

Have you ever had the experience that what you're experiencing through your senses doesn't match what you're feeling in your gut? That happens to me all the time. It's the reason I have so much self doubt. The other thing that contributes to my self-doubt is that sometimes everyone around me has an opinion that is the polar opposite of mine.

For most of my life I've relied on my senses and the opinion of others to influence how I was feeling and how I would make my decisions. Trusting others more than I trusted my heart. They must know better than me. Maybe I was missing something. That's changed over the last few years.

I'm not sure if it's my meditation practice or if it's just getting older but I no longer feel influenced by other people's opinions. I no longer question my gut feeling. The more I honor and respect the guidance of my own heart the easier it is to trust it. I can honestly say that I'm never sorry when I follow my heart.

I do, however, still struggle when I feel like I'm being "un-yogic" by following me intuition to avoid someone. In yoga-land we are taught to see God in everyone and love everyone. We give everyone the benefit of the doubt. The yoga texts clearly confirm that this is the way we need to live our lives. Yet sometimes my gut tells me that someone is not to be trusted. Do I ignore that for the sake of being "yogic"?

What if the yoga concept of following your intuition conflicts with the yoga concept of loving everyone? What's an aspiring yogi to do? Meditate of course. Turn within and listen. Even though we need to love everyone and see God in everyone that doesn't mean we need to keep company with people that our intuition is telling us to avoid. The reality is that not everyone's intentions are good.

Yes, we can see them as sick instead of evil and yes, we need to recognize that they may be suffering. With great love and respect, I honor those people but I choose not to keep company with them. Does that make me a bad yogi? I don't think so.

Interestingly, I've noticed that I no longer feel the desire to explain or defend myself. This has also helped me to accept the fact that some people simply aren't in touch with their own inner teacher or guide. They continue to be influenced by their senses and the opinions of others. In the same way that I don't want to have to defend my actions I no longer need others to defend theirs.

"With great love and respect, I honor my heart, my true teacher" --- May we all learn to honor our hearts and follow the internal guidance from the Divine.

Blessings from the Divine Mother

I've been hesitating writing a new post because I don't want to be a downer. The posts that have been writing themselves in my head have been anything but positive. One started like this: "I've spent the last 5 years working on opening my heart and throat chakra. Learning how to express my feelings was a complete waste of energy and has become a huge source of distress. Expressing my feelings only makes everyone I love mad at me." I have been feeling beat up by the universe.

Clearly, that's not the beginning of an inspirational blog post. Instead, I've been spending my time on the mat. It's the yoga practice where I find inspiration. Inspiration for writing and inspiration for living. I've been praying to the Divine Mother for support. In her infinite Grace she has blessed me with clarity of mind today.

Through her Grace I have been able to step back from my own emotions long enough to notice that everyone is feeling "beat up by the universe". The hot, humid weather is making everyone irritable and it's making it harder and harder for people to deal with the challenges they are facing.

When I first started learning Ayurveda I was not at all happy about my kapha constitution. Now, Divine Mother's blessing has shown me just how beneficial my kapha nature is. It's my kapha nature that gives me the strength to endure whatever life throws at me. It's what gives me my strong sense of loyalty and devotion so that even though someone I love is harsh towards me I can still love them. It's kapha that makes me strong enough to carry the heavy load for those who are too tired. ( I almost wrote.... BRING IT ON UNIVERSE, I CAN TAKE IT....but then I thought better... even kaphas have their breaking point)

It's through my consistent practice that I am able to stay grounded in the middle of a storm of someone else's emotions. I may be hit with the debris from their storm sometimes but today I'm feeling grateful. Grateful that I can see that it was not intentional but simply residual debris from their inner storm of emotions.

The Divine Mother's blessing has helped to see that it's only through consistent practice that I can get back to my true nature when I find myself lost in my own storm of emotions.

When we find ourselves at a loss, not knowing which way to turn, when  life's challenges seem overwhelming, we have to take the U-turn.  The U-turn back to the mat, back to our true nature.  It's there that we'll find the support and peace that we need.  It's there that the Divine Mother resides waiting with open arms and unconditional love. 

Through her love and support we find our strength so that we can be that love and support for others who haven't found their own strength yet.